Sunday, 29 April 2012

Football is just emotional

Football makes me cry. When one team [cough Chelsea cough] scores way more points than the other team it is just SO SAD because the other team have trained for so long to get there and then all their dreams have been crushed -
I may be reading a little further into this than necessary.

It's just too emotional.
On the other hand, Torres is huminahuminahumina-aaaaaa

Slightly off topic...

I don't understand how boys can like this god-awful sport - it's horrible and cut-throat and downright mean! And yet the boys on my bus talk about it non-stop - as if they are on first name basis with all of the players...

I want to see some women's football and if my TV wasn't so shit and if I had a Sky box thing, then I would be doing so right now.
Guy football is so... lame?

Don't tell RF I said that though - he LOVES Chelsea. I support Liverpool - because they went on Jeremy Kyle Show and granted a little kid his wish of meeting them. Made my life :')

Anywho - lots of work and no time to do it!
Bring on the Red Bull..!
Oh I am a nitwit sometimes. I don't need a Pity Party - I have a Knight for God's sake, no matter where he is or what he's doing, he is still my Knight. So we can actually simmer the fuck down now :')

Today has been rather unproductive - I have spent most of it Googling the pink dress Leighton Meester wears in Monte Carlo (in case you were wondering, they don't sell it in England - what a surprise..!).

And now, alas, work calls at 8pm.
So this is really just a brief catch-up.
Adieu chums,
Grammar Gal xx

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Pity party for me!

All we need is a little perspective.
True, one of my favourite friends reduced me to tears yesterday and Monday is bound to be awkward. It's equally true that RF is currently at a party having the time of his life whilst Isit surrounded by my walls of post-its, the sudden realisation hitting me that my Knight is probably too busy to save me.
Wait - where's the good side of this?
WELL, for starters, RF calls me "babe" and is really sweet and lovely. Like a gay best friend. But not gay.
ALSO, Gem was a Top Babe yesterday - and so was Mrs Nerg to be fair :)

And yet I still feel like a lonesome pidgeon. Oh, sigh...
This, by the way, is what we call a Pity Party. It's an event where one dwells on the misfortunes of one's life and celebrates their failures.
Welcome to the Pity Party that is my life.

Friday, 27 April 2012

What a Gem

Today was god-awful.
I won't mention the specifics but a friend and I got into an argument and I got pretty upset (which is actually quite unusual for me..).
After The Incident I realised how much I've missed having the Knight Guarantee of year 9 (where I would call him and he'd always pick up). Nowadays, he never picks up. This is problematic because, whilst walking home and still feeling shit-awful I really wanted him to be my Rock. But, it turns out, he's not my Rock - he didn't call back and now it looks bad for the number of times I have been upset and called him and he has not replied.
But I thought that once you've realised there's mutual love there that the Games stop, and you freely call each other up - this would no longer look "desperate" -clearly I was wrong!
Well, my Rock didn't come in the form of Knight or Awesome but, instead, from another lovely lady whom has not yet been introduced to y'all - let's call her Gem because she is definitely a Top Babe :)
She called me when I got home and we talked for ages - it was really sweet and lovely of her.
ALSO, Gem and I are doing a 26-hour challenge -we have to stay up for 26hrs in holidays with no caffeine! Will definitely keep you posted on that!

Sorry for the gloom,
Keep you posted when things get cheerier,
Grammar Gal

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Happily Ever After - now what?

It is a bare necessity that I simmer the fuck down.
I'm not sure whether it's my insane lack of sleep or the fact that Knight hasn't really made an effort to contact me, but I am not really in a good mood.
Don't get me wrong - I was over the moon, floating on Cloud 9, at first and singing "I gotta pocket gotta pocket fulla sunshine" at the top of my lungs (in public, because that's how we roll...). But then Awesome reminded me that I don't gotta pocket fulla sunshine - Knight hasn't called.
I'm aware I sound like a whiny 30 year old simpering and asking WHY HASN'T HE CALLED?! But, hey, it's a valid question.
In all of the many rom-coms I have read, the guy always end up with the girl and there is an adorable proclamation of love which is rather tear-jerking. The end.
But...what happens after the Happily Ever After? Did Elizabeth Bennet spend lightyears waiting for her Darcy to appear on his horse-and-carriage and take her out?

But, hey-ho c'est la vie!
It's really not that big a deal - it just feels like a big deal because of the foul mood I am in which has been caused by my lack of sleep. All-nighters are torture.

And on that note
Adieu chums xxx

Sunday, 22 April 2012

England - you gotta love/hate it

I'm shivering as I type this. For some strange reason the heating in my house only seems to work when it is baking hot. God, sometimes I hate England. The weather is the strangest thing EVER. Today, for insance, I went outside to water my Pa's plants, and it was lovely and sunny and I was singing a bit o' Taylor Swift in my PJs. Suddenly there are hailstones the size of Rolos that are falling on my head quicker than you can say "Where The Fuck Is My Coat?!".
Other than the bipolar weather, English schools give too much homework - and tests: from the age of 11 I was continutally told "this test will determine whether you will be happy and successful or a hobo". It's just NOT RIGHT PEOPLE.
Then there's the buses, where everybody looks like they want to stab you. Especially the old people - I hate the ethical dilemma of whether you should offer your seat to someone - it can go wrong if:
A. You offer your seat to a 'pregnant' woman and she's not pregnant
B. You offer someone your seat and they are a mature-looking 30 year old.

IT'S TOO DIFFICULT. If you want a seat you should have a little badge saying a sweet message like "please may you give me your seat" to which I would oblige to. Whereas, nowadays, the old people just yank you out of your seat before you can say "Do you want to sit down..?"
Don't get me wrong, I love old people - which is another reason I loathe Giraffe (he has some sort of phobia/intense dislike of old people = he is a pig). I hate teens that refuse to offer their seats to old people on the bus - I always give them scathing looks...

But, then again, England is the home of Harry Potter. Speaking of Harry, Prince Harry lives here (which is the sole reason that I am here, let's be honest!)...
Oh yeah and we have LONDON ftw! The most amazing place ever (excluding Paris, of course).
Ok, so maybe England isn't THAT bad...

Saturday, 21 April 2012

It's all good

Part of the good news is that Knight has lost the e-mail address to this blog, so we can talk about him freely :')

Now for the brilliant news:
Last night when I had that tipsy moment, I did text Knight and asked him how he felt about me.
I was expecting him to say he likes me as a friend.
Well, I woke up this morning with 9 missed calls and a new message. He says he loves me, and I replied that I love him too.
The only slight problem is that he smokes and drinks and stuff... But, hey, nobody's perfect - and I will never smoke. Ever.
Then today he called and he's so easy to talk to!
And he said that even though he was really drunk last night when he told me he loves me, he still meant it. And I told him I felt the same.
Eeeee :')

This single Grammar Gal has finally been rescued from her tower of post-its, by her Knight in Shiny Abercrombie and Fitch.
The end.
Well, not quite, there's still space for me to cock-up the first date :L
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Friday, 20 April 2012

Simmer the fuck down!

In hindsight, I shouldn't have drunk so much avec my parents - but, hey, the waiter kept filling up my glass. I'm now in that happy state where singing Sweet Dreams My LAX is essential, and calling Knight for the zillionth time looks like a fantabulous idea.
Desperate? Needy? MOI?!!
Oh I need to simmer the fuck down!
Oh, but I'm so happy!

On a completely separate note - my beautiful 'bangable' neigbour collected a parcel from us yesterday (no euphemism intended..) and he was so phwoar that as soon as he left, my sister and I put on Call Me Maybe on full volume and sang along. You can tell we're boy-deprived :L
Oh, and today there were some strapping lads in the car in front of mine when my sister was driving me home from school and they turned round and laughd (because we were singing Taylor Swift together like badasses) and one of them put on a Storm Trooper mask and it was SO FUNNY :')

Oh life is so Lalalalalalalalalala

Oh shit I have to be up early tomorrow to do some work before I go to a drama rehearsal - now, I'm fairly sure I shall not be hungover - although I'm such a lightweight that I do get hungover at a sip of alcohol!!

Adieu chums,
Grammar Gal xxxxxxxx

Thursday, 19 April 2012

The Dress Policy Dilemma

To start with, I think everyone has a right to their own opinions (Except Hitler - he was just a twat). 

In my school there's a "smart casual" policy - it's not specific and loads of people wear short skirts/see-through blouses. There's a lot of controversy over whether we should introduce a "smart" policy and many people support this, thinking it would be easier to find an outfit. This argument is perfectly reasonable - I must confess that I find it difficult to choose my outfits, so doing it everyday could be a pain in the arse. 
Nevertheless, I still don't want the "smart" policy. In fact, I don't want the "smart-casual" policy either - it should be "wear what you want" like it is in America.

However, many people also think the "smart" policy should be introduced because girls can get away with wearing short skirts with the "smart-casual" policy and this is supposedly scandalous or something... 
Call me anti-old-fashioned but I don't think it matters whether you wear a bin-bag to school. It certainly doesn't matter if you wear a short skirt to school (in my opinion).
If my friend was wearing a see-through blouse and a short skirt I wouldn't judge her or think of her any differently. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't care less what people are dressed like! 

But this isn't just about the school policy. It's got me thinking: people who wear short skirts are deemed "slags" or "sluts" - and both of these words have negative implications. In my opinion, what you wear doesn't define you. Personally, I haven't got a style - I wear baggy t-shirts but also wear short skirts. And I don't think it's society's place to put labels on people. I am obviously in support of wearing-whatever-you-like, as shown through my "Dress Like A 'Slut' Day" which I hold everytime I feel depressed about exams or whatever.

Some people say that dressing like a "slut" is attracting negative male attention (in school this would be from male teachers). Well I just disagree wholeheartedly. When I have my DLASD I never do it to make myself seem more desirable to men. I do it because I like wearing short skirts (they give the illusion that my legs are longer than they actually are) and I like wearing V-necked tops (paired with my Tiffany necklace they always looks awesome) - so why can't I do this for school? Many people think that if I dressed as a "slut" they would feel uncomfortable. I sympathise - everyone has different opinions - but at the end of the day it's my choice what I wear, and if you valued me as a person then the way I dress should have no impact on your opinion/respect for me.

So, personally, I think it's fine for people to turn up in see-through blouses and short skirts (I really don't see the problem - if the concern is that it attracts negative attention from male teachers then I think this is an invalid argument since they should know better than to look at girls young enough to be their daughters).
But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinions and the last thing I'd want to do is force my opinions down people's throats..!

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Tips for being a Happy Singleton

Today I had a half-day at school and I realllly didn't want to go home straight away so I went shopping for a little while. I was texting RF the whole time and he was egging me on to go and 'meet someone'. Personally, I'm not looking for a boyfriend because I'm hung up on Knight (who hasn't replied to any of my texts, hence He's Just Not That Into me..).
Right, so I went shopping and realised all the stupid couples around me being happy, and the stereotypical Pretty Couples that I mentioned in a previous blog.
So, here are my tips for being a Happy Singleton when shopping:
1. Maintain eye-contact with delicious boys. Only do this for a couple of seconds, or they'll think you're a weirdo...
2. Buy yourself some flowers. Preferably yellow flowers (because they brighten up your mood and then you feel Zen) and then all the couples will think that a boy bought you those flowers and you can help the market stalls' business (I find it really sad that no-one goes to market stalls anymore..)
3. Buy a book: people will think you're intellectual. If you combine buying a book with rolling up your school skirt then boys will think you're smart AND sexy (except, I couldn't be asked to roll my skirt up when it's already too small for me and I like being able to breathe).
4. Read a magazine/text people on your phone if you're sitting at a cafe (people will think you're waiting for someone).
5. Ask cute people what the time is, even though you already know: this starts conversation (RF wanted me to do this, but I chickened out - I apologise for failing all you Singletons...)

So, yeah, 5 steps to fun shopping time Grammar Gal style.
Yes, I'm aware that buying yourself flowers and buying a book may seem really sad but I'm SORRY that I love flowers and reading is just my life. What a gripping life I do lead. No wonder Knight hasn't texted back.

Oh well...let's not dwell!

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Monday, 16 April 2012

BEWARE: Feminist rant [if you're a male pig then look away now]

Let's deviate from the usual tale of my pathetic so-called love life (even RF thinks I should move on from Knight who obviously no longer likes me in any way, but Bazz totally disagrees and thinks he's perfect - which, naturally, he is) and talk about a completely different topic.
Today I feel the need to vent out a bit of rage I have stored inside about the gender unbalance in today's society. Those of you who know me will verify that I am definitely not a feminist - whilst I want men and women to be equal in rights and opportunity, I still let Knight pay for my lunch and let boys let me go on the bus first. But these are minor and insignificant differences. What really pisses me off is that when I drive around at night I don't see any girls on the street - boys with 'swag' in grey tracksuit bottoms that stumble to their destination frequently litter the pavements. Yet there are rarey any girls. It strikes me that we still live in a Man's World (cue James Brown) - why is it that my mother was doing the same job as a man and was getting paid half of his salary? Why is it that girls are too frightened to walk the streets at night? Why is it that the word 'feminist' has such negative implications?
It's because guys (think they) rule the world. I mean, where's the Female Presidents? True, we did have a female Prime Minister but she kinda cocked that up... Oh Maggie... *rolls eyes*

And Breathe.

This is just something that's been pissing me off ever since Giraffe once told me about a time he was walking home from Brixton late at night (or something along those lines...) and he mocked my fear of leaving the house late at night. God, he was a bastard.

Back to happier topics: I have successfully devoured a Lindt Bunny, half a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a packet of Chocolaet Digestives. Sometimes food can be your best friend. Who needs a man when you can have Maryland Cookies??

Well, it's 20 past 10 and I need to do some work. Why is my life a rollercoaster of excitement? I blame the Convent.

Grammar Gal xxx

Sunday, 15 April 2012


Halfway between laughing and crying - this is the effect of Red Bull, it's like being drunk. You just want to curl up and make the room stop spinning - oh, and make drunk calls to Bastards that don't text you.

I have so much work due in tomorrow that I only remembered NOW :O
So I've sent a pathetic plea to my history teacher to explain the situation (accompanied by a pic of my wall, covered in postits - surely he'll pity my lack of social life and give me an extension...?)

Here's hoping!

New development: I have discovered that RF no longer repels me and he's actually quite nice :o
Right, well, I'll have to keep this brief since Torture awaits me.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

I know I know RF is bad news, Knight is - well- the Knight and all should be well.
But Knight hasn't called/delivered that T-shirt so I'm guessing he hates me and forever will do.
And we're back to the Magic stage. Except - no, not this time. This time we have RF - sweet ol' RF who is like a shot of ego-boost.
Mmmm a shot would be welcome right now. So tired. Need to sleep. Yet RF is still talking to me. And he's really nice. I wish I could talk to him whilst asleep.
Ooo that would be cool. When you sleep you could just a-wonder into other people's dreams.
That's a nice thought.
You know what else is a nice thought?


On a completely separate note, yesterday I had my highlights re-done by a lovely lady who didn't bully me into:
A. Getting a side fringe
B. Getting a side parting
C. Having a zillion inches taken off...

Instead, the lady was a gem and didn't even ask me too many probing questions.
My least favourite question is always "What are your plans for the weekend?" because this entails having to lie and say you're going to a party/gathering/date with your family/friends/boyfriend which is a slap in the face when the truth is that you will be colour-coding your post-its...

Well, anyways, here it is (not that you'll be able to see any change due to the fact my webcam is the epitome of shit)...

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Dress As A Slut Day = Problems solved!

As you can probably tell from recent blogs, I have recently turned insane but - no more! Today I had a lie-in and woke up at 9am (a lie-in compared to 7am) and din't start my work until half 3 :') Well, let's face it, I still haven't really started (unless you count sorting my fineliners into colour order alphabetically...)
Oh I have such happiness in my belly :') But this morning I realised the perfect anecdote to all of my work problems. You probably don't remember this remedy from months ago, so I'll repeat it: Dress As A Slut Day. That's what today has been, and it's so...uplifting. I urge you to try it; your day becomes so much better. And you gain karma points for being...daring?

I had such a strange dream last night (and yes, I'm going to tell you it):
I was at a cafeteria with John Cusack (if you don't know him, look the Sex God up on Google) and he was in a band and we were on a date. It was OK - he was a little boring. Then it was like Grease, and my friends came to our table. I went to get a cake because John Cusack was really boring. Only, when I came back the table and everyone around the table had turned into Knight (it was really freaky). JC asked if anything was wrong and I said 'no'. We walked out of the cafe and suddenly we were in Covent Garden. 
That's all I remember. Still, pretty freaky - right?

I've been thinking about the L word (love - duh) and I've realised I probably use it far too loosely. My sister, for instance, has been in a serious relationship for ages and her boyfriend and her still aren't at the "I love you" stage because it's such a big commitment. So, I'm going to stop saying "I love Knight" - afterall the guy hasn't tried to contact me in ages. That's the best thing about Yr 11 - you have your GCSE revision, then your GCSEs then BAM! Prom. So one really doesn't have time to think about boys. 

C'est la vie - Happy Dress As A Slut Day, everyone!
Grammar Gal xxx

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Oh God. I've turned into one of those annoying women from the horror films who looks around suspiciously at everything, kicks down doors to check no-one's there are sleeps with the light on.
Only this isn't a horror film. This is safe-as-a-whistle suburbia.
I'm not sure whether to blame my sleep deprivation or my over-active imagination for my new-found fear of the dark, of open doors and of closed doors. I now find that whenever I see a closed door I am 100% sure there is a man on the other side with a knife that's ready to kill me.
I blame that Self Defence class. It's given me awful dreams about dark alleys and knives. That combined with walking in on my sister watching Saw III. Scarred for life.

On a happier note, I just saw Hunger Games which was brilliant but Gale was too pretty and Peeta wasn't pretty enough for my liking (shall say no more since no-one likes spoilers!)

Well, an evening full of work/passing out on my sofa awaits me. Such fun!
Grammar Gal xxx

Monday, 9 April 2012

Sleep deprivation + twitter = uneventful day

Have been left under the "supervision" of my sister to help me with my sonnet essay whilst the 'rents go to bed. Needless to say she has fallen asleep and refuses to help me.

Today I realised how addictive Twitter is (my account name is...*looks up* LittleMissUk_411 in case you're a curious cat). I'm hashtaging everything in life now.
Today I used the phrase "YOLO".
What has my life become?!
I'll tell you what it's become: an ensemble of late night + early morning = I've gone INSAAAANE.
All I do is loiter (I love the word 'loiter' - such a fun word...) around in my babygrow and act like a crazy kid (today this entailed cooking pasta whilst crazy dancing to a bit o' Mr Blue Sky :'] )

So, yeah, I've gone crazy. A bit like Romeo in the beginning of R+J where he's all like "this is not Romeo - oh no! I'm some other dude because I'm crazily in love with some bitch". That's me - I'm not myself at the moment.

(I warned you about the hashtags...let's hope it's a phase...)

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Oooh it's exactly 1am and I have to get up in 5 and a half ours. Effort to leave this comfortable position - in my comfy babygrow, snuggled up in a blanket and I have to move a whole 1metre to reach my bed. Effort.

Recently in my life a big fat nothing has happened. You will be, ofc, thrilled to hear that I've been working today (why oh why is my life so exciting?!).
But, rest assured, in around 3 months things will get a lot more exciting. Starting with me burning all of my notes. Then leaving my house. It may take a bit of adjustment to get used to the fresh oxygen and the bright sunlight compared to this dimly-lit study but hey-ho it's a sarcrifice I'm going to make.

There's nothing to update on the Knight front (sorry to disappoint) - he hasn't called/texted/attempted to make contact. Maybe that ship's setting sail again..? Or maybe he's just busy...

Whatever it may be, I think we're both too busy to meet up so we'll see what happens after the exams a.k.a. Torture is over.

It's too late - no, it's too EARLY - to be considering these issues.
Night/Morning all,
Grammar Gal xxx

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Sleep deprivation does not bode well with me

For all you late-night ravers I'm sure that 12:20 pm is a perfectly reasonable time to STILL BE AWAKE but for us early birds it's like torture.

Jaysus Christ I have too much work to do, cannot find my Red Bull stash (that's right - I'm having to work on Diet Coke alone :O )
And OMFG you know how everything is so much more dramatic/upsettng/emotional when you're tired..?!


Well I'm going to go before I go crazzzzzzyy and I'm going to get back to my fucking maths revision. Fabulous.

Keep Calm and Marry Prince Harry

Today has been both productive and unproductive.
Unproductive: I had my hair highlighted today which took ageeeees so I missed out a great fat chunk in my revision schedule, then I spent 2 hours planning what work I was going to do today, then the 'rents came home and wanted to spend "quality time" together, then The Voice came on. And here we are: 8:20 pm, have done practically nothing and on the verge of tears. Red Bulls at the ready.
Productive: Bazz gave me some Knight advice about the whole I-should-tell-him-I-love-him-or-go-out-with-him situation before he finds someone else. But I really want to wait until the summer when my brain won't be occupied and when I can focus on something other than the History of Britain. Fuck My Life.

Dammit Bazz, what have you done?! I was feeling calm and poised about the whole situation and now I cannot focus on this very interesting information about Pythagoras' Theorem -.-

And bring on the tears and wailing.

Stay Calm And Marry Prince Harry - this is my new catchprase. Calm and collected.
Will tell Knight in the summer. Sorted.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xx

Friday, 6 April 2012

Have we been a bit harsh on RF..?

OK now I feel guilty. I feel I have given an awful representation of RockerFella. It's tricky to determine his character (let the record show I shall never in a gazillion years fancy him) because I hear from numerous sources that he's a:
- Pig
- User
- Potential racist (but I wouldn't believe that girl who told me that - she's the school's gossip! She loves stirring up trouble..!)

Well, if he is any of the above then I sure as hell have never seen this side to him - he's only ever been sweet and caring towards me. Nonetheless if he was a racist I would bitchslap him, rest assured.
But the thing is...he's actually really lovely. I've been speaking to him for the past hour or so and whilst he can't hold a candle to Knight, he is rather sweet.
I've been giving him girlfriend advice (which is bitterly ironic since I'm a commitment phob) and he's been giving me Knight advice. It's quite a nice compromise.
I love having someone to tell things to (and listening to other's problems too) - because whilst I adore Awesome, I don't think she really wants to hear about my thoughts on Knight, or the details of our date. But I want to tell people these things! Maybe that's the reason I have a blog - because I'm a blabbermouth. Probably, not going to lie!
I like talking about Knight but I have no-one to talk to about him:
- Awesome: not really interested.
- Mrs Nerg: admittedly a very good listener, but I don't want to constantly bombard her with Boy Talk; she already thinks I'm boy-obsessed (now where would she get that idea from..?)
- My mother: she's on Team Knight and thinks I should stop 'stringing him along and just go out with him already'. Why can't people just wait until FUCKING SUMMER?!
And this brings us back to RockerFella - a good listener who is very nice (albeit a bit bland).

Right. It's 21:56 and I need to do yet another Physics mock paper. FML.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Too much fucking work!

Procrastination is something I cannot afford to do with only 39 days till my first exam. Fucking hell. I have so much work to do!
Yet here I am. Procrastinating. Listening to Call Me Maybe (which is sdfhjnfdjhdsjhghjs soooo good!)
Right. In 3 minutes I shall do my work.

As you can see I'm freaking out! In hindsight I really shouldn't have watched New Moon and then watched Can't Buy Me Love last night...
Need to leave or I'll spontaneously burst into tears.
Keep you posted when I'm no longer an emotional wreck.