Monday, 7 April 2014

The Revolution against Arrogant Arses

People always say that there is a thin line between love and hate, but I have to disagree. Unless you are Cher in Clueless, if you like a guy then you like him. End of. I've never seen people hate someone and then grow to fall in love with them. For me, the line between love and hate is more like the Great Wall of China. If I put you in the 'hate' part of the diagram, then you're going to have to sew a 1000ft ladder out of Shreddies cereal to climb into the 'love' section and for me to forgive you.
Yet whilst these two emotions are...(what's the maths term?) mutually exclusive (?),  the difference between a charming hottie and an arrogant arse is much harder to define. 
Since the start of mankind, there have always been cocky charmers - they were probably the cavemen that made all the cavewomen swoon with their witty charm and smooth way of rubbing sticks together to make a fire. But when is a guy cocky and when is he arrogant?
To be honest, I think the difference lies in the fact that cocky is cute and arrogant makes me want to vom in my mouth. If a guy is cocky then, when you text him "So tired, going to bed" he may reply "But won't that be boring without me? ;) " 
A reply which would be both amusing and huminahuminahumina-hot.
If he's an arrogant arse, he's more likely to be self-centred and only care about what he can get out of the relationship.
E.g. when you text him "So tired, going to bed" he may reply "don't be boring" or may be too busy taking selfies to reply at all.
But when faced with these rather similar boys, us girls need to be equipped with my favourite weapons: Sass and Class. Gals, we all put the ass in sass (or, as me and Bazz have lately decided, we put the booty in booty-ful) and we all have the potential to be Confident, Collected and Classy individuals who don't rely on men to feed us compliments or reply to our messages within 10 minutes of their being sent.
I'm proposing a revolution; I don't know about you, but I for one am sick and tired of waiting around for a guy to text me back. I'm not a cute dress on ASOS that you can Add to your Favourites but have no intention of buying. From now on, we are going to treat men with the same courtesy that they treat us - maybe that's what the Bible meant when that guy wrote 'Do unto others as you have done unto you' (or something along those lines!). If a guy takes 4 hours to reply to a text, and during this millenium of time he has been tweeting and thus has his phone on him, then I'm proposing that we take 10 hours to reply to his belated-and-lazy text.
Nobody deserves an Arrogant Arse.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

P.S. Just to clarify, Humbug isn't an Arrogant Arse - he is a slightly-lazy-slash-workaholic-so-he-takes-ages-to-reply Cocky Charmer, don't worry- I'm not settling! (And, my Classy Sassy Chicas I urge you to do the same!). 

Friday, 4 April 2014

Kissing - are we all a little addicted?

I don't know if it's just me, but kissing is my favourite activity of all time. It's exciting and I swear some scientists said it was good for you because it releases stress or something...?!
Whatever the science is, there's something about having your hands in a guy's perfectly gelled hair that makes the room spin and gives you drunken butterflies on your stomach. this just a girl thing? My boyfriend, Humbug, can go days, weeks and perhaps even centuries without kissing me. I, on the other hand, need to be kissed constantly. Ok, not constantly. I'm not like Ron's thirsty girlfriend in Harry Potter! But maybe it's all the years of chick flicks that I've loved or maybe it's just the years of being locked up in the convent :L
So why doesn't hum want to kiss me every moment of every day?! :') I feel like I'm not an awful kisser and my breath is always minty fresh. So maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe they don't feel the need to play tonsil tennis...
Well. No regrets!
Grammar Gal
P.S I have come to the awesome discovery that I'm much happier when I wrote my blog but, honestly, my self esteem has been soaring as high as the Greek economy lately, so Ive not written in a while because I've been feeling blue and jealous and neglected. I've decided that my boyfriend isn't crazy about me but I can't decide how to deal with it - I reallllllly like him...! We shall see what summer brings :)