Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Lately I've been reading critical stuff for my English Coursework and I've come across this guy called Freud. Some of the things he comes up with are a bit wacky (ie that guys fancy their mothers) but some of his theories totally hit the nail on the head. My favourite is the Madonna-Whore complex: that's the theory that boys either respect you but don't desire you (as a Virgin Mary figure) or want to have sex with you but won't then respect you (as a Whore).
I mean, that just sums up teenage boys, right?!
But this has made me think... Do we, as women, willingly try to conform to these categories? When I was the Mayoress of Singletown I used to wear the most outrageous outfits- see through, ridiculously short and often rather tight. But now that I have a boyfriend I've totally changed - I still wear short skirts but I'm much more subtle because I want his respect. But I have literally run out of clothes - I'm wearing a shamelessly seethrough top today and I feel so embarrassed!!
Do we all dress to impress? Do we try to confirm to the Madonna to avoid being the whore?
Don't get me wrong, it's fun dressing like Jackie-O instead of Marilyn for a change, but the ability to dress promiscuously is a privilege that all you singletons should not take for granted! Cxx

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Putting Life In Perspective

Last night one too many Knickerbockers (my new favourite cocktail - it even beats a Cosmopolitan!) led to me reminiscing about Humbug. It was then that I realised what a fool I have been.
It paralleled the moment in the second Bridget Jones movie when she's at the prison and all the inmates are talking about their abusive exes and she's standing there like a melon and like 'yeah... My boyfriend was pretty bad too' when he was actually perfect compared to them.
In fact, humbug is kinda like a laid-back Darcy.
True, the fact that he's laid back drives me up the wall, but all the other guys' intensity always drove me away. Maybe there's a lot more to our relationship than I originally saw.
So, anyways. There I was: a tipsy gypsy knocking back a cocktail. Then I started thinking about when me and Humbug first properly met. It was at a party and I was apparently all over him, but he refused to take advantage of me because he's an absolute gentleman.
And then I started thinking about all the lovely things about him: the way he brushes my cheek before he kisses me, his adamant refusal to rush me into things because I'm not ready, the way he strokes me hair when I'm tired, the fact we always laugh and have fun in each other's company, the fact that he (unlike all the knobheads of the past) has had girls flinging themselves at him and has pushed them away, saying 'sorry, I have a girlfriend' and his thoughtfulness (he bought me a game boy colour because I'd always wanted one as a kid).
So, all in all. I have the best boyfriend. True, he doesn't buy me flowers and he's a bit flirty with other girls and he treats me like just a friend. But maybe that's just because he doesn't know how to act around me. From now on, I'm going to cut him some slack and just enjoy his company.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Thursday, 16 January 2014

No longer the DFS Sale?

Hello chums.
Sorry I haven't written in so long - I've been trying to decide what on earth to do about Humbug! He stood me up last Sunday and this sparked all kinds of doubt as all my friends suddenly let loose on their qualms about him! So then I started thinking and getting annoyed that he doesn't make enough effort with me.
And then I realised that I'm his DFS Sale.

Nobody gets excited by the DFS Sale because they know it's always there - no matter how many times the advert assures you that it will "End on Sunday" you know  that there will be another sale next week, so it's not an exciting ordeal. This is how Humbug sees me. I'm there, I'm available. So why should he bother coming to DFS when he knows I'm on sale?

But that's when it hit me: enough is enough! I deserve to be somebody's Topshop Sale or (not trying to brag) Harrod's Sale (well their sales are ridiculous, though - £1000 down to £800 harrumph).
Anyways, you get my jist.

Humbug and I have been in a bit of a Cold War but I called him and we are OK now (?). We've basically decided to hide our problems and continue as normal (not exactly the healthiest of solutions!)

Our conversation was going swimmingly tonight until I made a Stupid Cock-Up: I accidentally let slip my ridiculous jealousy for the girl he always flirts with (the Pretty, Funny, Cool one) and he thought that was bitchy of me to call her a flirt. So then he was like DEFENDING her! It was such a turn-off!
I ended up saying "Maybe you should go out with her then".
She. Is. Stupidly. Perfect. And she makes me feel like boring Vivien from Legally Blonde whenever she's around. And he claims that they're just friends and that he would never cheat on me with her because he 'prefers' me, but the Green Jealousy Monster is back!

I've tried to suppress it with all my might. But. No. I just can't! It drives me crazy! Every English lesson I have to sit behind them both chatting and laughing and hugging each other (like a couple!!) and I'm just sitting there like a melon. It's torture. And he doesn't understand why it bothers me...

This is such a dilemma.