Friday, 8 April 2016

The 'New Woman'

I realise that I never told you how that date went with Tinder Tom. Suffice to say, he was pretty darn perfect: he told me all about his love for Taylor Swift, his respect for his family and his hilarious teenage antics from growing up in the West Country (did I mention he had a dreamy farmer accent? AKA DREAM!!!) After our mini bar crawl, we went dancing (it was like Dirty Dancing - he was spinning me around and everything) and then he walked me home and didn't even expect to come in. Quel gent.

Things only went tits-up when it came to the second 'date'. He asked if I wanted to get pizza and watch a movie and I jumped at the chance. My friend and I planned my outfit to a T (denim skirt and pretty top - not too casual but looks effortlessly cool) and I asked Tinder Tom where we were meeting. To my dismay, he wanted to come round mine to watch Netflix and order pizza. That's right: he wanted to Netflix and Chill. Now, I was initially in denial. How could Mr McDreamy want to Netflix & Chill? Didn't he realise that this would not be a cute story to tell the grandchildren?! So I laughed it off and messaged him "Think our second date is a bit early to Netflix and Chill!" and I addeda crying-happy face emoji to pretend I found it hilarious (when really I was livid that Mr Fantastic was turning into Mr Fuckboy)

Anyways, he then said "Oh I don't see it as a date, just think of it as hanging out and having fun :P" Yep, he did the ':P'. Suddenly I was in year 8 again and my crush was MSN-ing me asking "how many boys have you kissed? :P" To say this message was a deal-breaker would be an understatement. So I went all sassy on him and told him I like being taken out on cute dates and we weren't well-suited so I hope he has a nice life. It was so badass, I felt like a Charlie's Angel. Only now I live in perpetual fear of running into him on campus on a day where I look like a diseased squirrel (pasty hungover complexion, crazy bed hair...)

C'est la vie. But the thing about the Tinder Tom episode is that I realised I really don't care that much about finding a boyfriend. Actually, I really don't want a boyfriend (much to my mother's dismay). They're a lot of hassle and bring all sorts of emotional complications and methinks life is too short for that!

It seems to me that there is a 'New Woman' emerging at the moment (we are learning about 'New Women' in the Victorian era at the moment - they were badasses that demanded equality)
There are the girls who hop from one guy to another, desperately hoping for a boyfriend. And then there are those who are cool with being single. It's like in He's Just Not That Into You - the main girl, GiGi, is obsessed with finding a boyfriend. And I'm just like wow, girl, think how much time you've wasted thinking about boys. She could have gone way further in her career if she'd just channelled that energy elsewhere!

Don't get me wrong, there are some reasons I would like a boyfriend:
1. I really want to wear my dungarees with no clothes underneath. I think it would look so cool - like a naughty farmer girl!
2. You can do sexual things with squirty cream. I love squirty cream.
3. You can hold hands in public and turn singletons green with envy.

Yeah that's pretty much all I've got so far. All the cliches of "someone to hold you" and "someone to spoon" don't apply to me because I love my own space! Literally. I brought a boy back from a night out t'other day and we were hugging whilst sleeping and I had to do the old Hug and Roll because I need my space!!

So there you go. Your mates may all have boyfriends/girlfriends, but at least you're getting a better night's sleep.