Sunday, 30 September 2012

Both sides of the argument

On the one hand, Knight is a complete prick who has ignored me for months, forced me into a spiral of depression where listening to Sad FM seemed to be the only relief I could get.
On the other hand, Knight is perfect. We can't debate this - just take my word for it; his girlfriend is a very lucky girl.
Look, I already know that he's out of reach now and I've accepted this, but everyone I talk to thinks that Knight is a Knob and I feel the need to show you the other side of the argument - the side where I cocked up.
Today I found myself looking at old messages from Knight and I came across this:
 I love everything about you, your smile, your hair and the fact that you inexplicably think that dogs can read your mind. I dont mind that you dont feel the same way about me and i shall never stop talking to you until the unfortunate day when i create the worlds biggest frappacino and it falls and crushes me, but until that day i shall continue to give you weather reports and randam updates on things. Even if you dont feel the same way as i do to you im just so happy i know you. I do and shall always love you.

And I let this amazing boy slip through my fingers.
So if anyone's a knob it's me.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Simple as this

Yesterday I was paid £30 to stare at a wall for 4 hours (as an overseer for the entrance exams to the Convent - a.k.a. my Grammar School).
This gave me a lot of time to think about me and Knight and I've made some important decisions.
If he wants me back as a friend then it's going to take more  than a drunken text message.
If I reply to him (I'm still considering not replying) then I need to let him know that he won't be forgiven easily.
Let's not forget that it took SIX rebounds to get over Knight - and now he wants to be friends...

So I think it would probably be healthier for me to turn my attentions to Z. Sure, I want to be best friends with Knight but I can't just forgive him. Or maybe I can. I'm a forgiving type of person after all. But I don't want to be a doormat - he can't just walk all over me.
Regardless, I think it's wiser if I try my hardest to not fancy Knight and, instead, to feel platonic love towards him. After all, he does have a girlfriend.
And Z is really cute - he's funny, good-looking, replies to my messages and it's not complicated!

Keep you posted on how I will cock this up,
Grammar Gal xxx

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Just...there are no words

It seems that when one part of your life is going great another inevitably goes tits-up. With me, however, most days everything is just tits-up [no euphemism intended!]

Alas, no. Instead, the numpty didn't get the bus today so he still has the umbrella and I don't have a date!
Then, whilst mourning this on the bus, I realised I have a message from Knight the Knob on my phone.
He did apologise for being...well...a knob. However, I am a historian and every good historian knows that you need to analyse your sources for their reliability: it was sent late at night meaning that he was probably drunk, so everything he said means very little.
Nonetheless, I do need to reply to his message but what does one say when the boy you've spent bloody ages getting over, suddenly wants to make up? And he still has a girlfriend so it would be a 'Just Friends' scenario, but can I do 'Just Friends' with my ex-Knight-in-Abercrombie-and-Fitch??
Who knows??

OH! AAAAND Beaver and his girlfriend (the blonde curvy one that we are insanely jealous of) broke up. My faith in relationships and true love has now been diminished into nothing.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

New Approach Needed

I know I said I was going to give up on Z because
A. He's waaay out of my league (literally, it would be like Prince Harry dating Amy Childs)
B. He's too popular and sociable (whereas I like to organise my post-its in my free time...)
C. He told me that my face is more defined since we last met (which is either an awful compliment or a slightly rubbish insult)

I marched to my bus stop full of determination that I would not find him attractive and would carry on with my life.
Of course I didn't succeed in this endeavour.
Z is gorgeous. But, more than that, he's lovely.
Lovely + gorgeous = yum.

So I may have a tiny crush on Z. But, let's be honest, it's never going to amount to anything unless I can say something to his face. This is problematic for me because I only talk to popular people when
1. On Facebook (it's a lot less embarrassing).
2. Drunk (but, then again, I talk to lamposts when I'm drunk)

So far this week, my physical contact with Z has included me meeting his gaze this morning, dropping it straight away and subsequently playing with my hair and cursing myself for being such a num. Call me pessimistic, but I don't think that this method is going to get him to ask me out.

So prepare for my Plan: I'm considering asking him out for a "casual" coffee on Sunday. This will give us that chance to "catch up" in person and for me to decide whether I fancy him. So it all rests on this hypothetical date.

But let's not get carried away with ourselves- I have to actually ask him out first. How the hell am I going to do that when social interaction with boys is my kryptonite (well, that and bikini shopping...) ??
Wish me luck,
Grammar Gal

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Boy Decoder, anyone?

Hey chums,
So I've been talking to Z a bit and we're in that awkward stage where I want to talk to him but I feel like an imposition - I don't want to appear too clingy. True, most of my friends and most girls my age would say that you should just be straight-forward with a guy and reply as soon as you receive his message.
But what if that makes me seem to keen?? In order to avoid this, I've been waiting at least 5 minutes before replying.
In adopting this method I have made our conversation last all day :O

Anyways, the point of this post was the Boy Decoder. I really wish there was a way that you could strip all the rubbish and pretence from what a boy is saying or find out the hidden meanings to what he's saying.
Alas, no. Us girls have to try to decipher what it means when he says "kk" instead of "OK" or "hello" instead of "hi".

Today, Z said that I looked different to how I did when I was in Yr 8 because my "face is more defined".
What the hell does that mean?!
A. Did my face used to be blurry?
B. Are my chin and nose now pointier?
C. Seriously, what else could this comment mean?!!

Due to the absence of a Boy Decoder I've had to use my faulty perceptive skills which tell me that this boy is Not That Into Me because telling a girl that her "face is more defined" is either
A. Some form of insult
B. The worst compliment ever.

Either way it hardly suggests that this is a boy who wants to see my "defined" face more often.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Uh-oh, we're in trouble...

It is a truth that I have come to terms with that I am amazing at cocking things up.
This does include daily life - i.e. getting on the wrong train and ending up at a station I cannot pronounce. However, most of my cock-ups (or, to prevent being sexist, we can call them tits-ups) have been related to boys/relationships.
I won't go through the list of ways I've ruined my friendships/relationships with boys. In a nutshell, I unintentionally lead them on, then ask for some space, get said space and never speak to them again. Usually this works out OK for me and it's a good defensive mechanism to prevent anybody being lumbered with me as their girlfriend. However, occassionally, when I say "no" to someone I realise that I was a twat and that I do infact like them - for instance, Knight who was perfect in an unconventional sense and who I rejected because I "didn't want a boyfriend to know and therefore potentially dislike everything about me - and also I didn't want a distraction from my homework" according to last year's diary...
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but it seems imperative that you understand my never-ending cycle of boy-girl relationships to understand what I'm about to tell you.
So, there's a boy who used to be a good friend of mine - I've mentioned him before somewhere on the blog and he had my back when some girls decided to declare a world war on me, and he is just lovely and the perfect mix of studious and party-goer.
I haven't talked to him in an age but he started talking to me a few days ago at the bus stop when he was with his (ridiculously intimidating) friends and though I was half-dead with exhaustion it was still quite pleasant.
Then I just spoke to him on Facebook and it's as easy as 123 (yes, the Jackson 5 helped me out on finding the words to describe him..!)
It would be great to get to know him again and whilst I don't see us going out (he's waaay out of my league - trust me!) it would still be cool to be mates (:
On the other hand, if he asked me out...
This is hypothetical of course because, as aforementioned, he is too cool for me.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

P.S. Today I managed to walk - well, a better word to describe it would be "slam" - into the really cute and shy boy in my year who is ridiculously adorable. Having waited for this moment since I was a tiny year 7 I was fully expecting my books to fly everywhere, him to bend and help me pick them up, our eyes to meet, him to introduce himself and perhaps ask me out for the weekend (sure, it's a long shot but everyone exaggerates situations in their imagination!) and them BAM! we'd be voted "cutest couple" in the yearbook.
Alas, no. That's not what happened at all... I slammed into him and he said "sorry" in a sort-of gruff way. Then we went our separate ways without looking much at each other. Instead of a boyfriend, all I was left with from this encounter was an aching shoulder.

Monday, 17 September 2012

It's not just that they're a couple; Knight and his girlfriend are a very cute couple.
Their cute conversations pop up on my News Feed and their pictures together make them seem happy.
I think I've been distant with the boys from the bus and from the party because, deep deep deep down there somewhere I thought that I may be able to win Knight back. Now I know that this is beyond possible and even Tom Cruise would have to pass that up.
Instead, therefore, I'm going to continue my search for Mr Right - but I'd also settle for Mr. Not-a-Knob-Head or Mr-not-a-Pervert. I'm not really that picky..! :')

And so I'm going to take this fishing malarcky to a new level and I'm going to get to know the fish that, so far, I have caught.
Keep you posted when I cock this up and they realise what a complete nutter I am,
Grammar Gal

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Well...that's over

Last night I vaguely remember kissing Prince for a millisecond and so I was quite excited about seeing him today to see if he acted any differently around me.
Yes, reader, he did act differently towards me: he acted like an arse.
When I addressed him loudly and clearly he turned in the opposite direction and refused to answer and refused to make eye contact.
A. Did he just feel awkward?
B. Is he just a massive knob?
C. Am I the knob for kissing him in the first place?

C is definitely looking more probable.
Oh God, in the space of 24 hours I have successfully
1. Grovelled to Knight about the state of our friendship
2. Met 3 random dudes (one of whom was at Prince's house today when we popped by for his BBQ)
3. Kissed Prince (something I had once dreamt of when I was, say, 12/13 but now I rather regret it)
4. Been ignored by Prince, which is just not pleasant at all. He genuinely seemed to hate me.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal 

The After-effect

I'm hanging my head in shame because of
A. The spelling and grammar errors in the previous post.
B. The fact that I kissed Prince and am seeing him today
C. The fact that I texted Knight a long text which, if I remember rightly, was quite deep [about how I shouldn't have let him go etc...] and now I'm cringing.
D. The fact that Knight didn't reply to the text

Presently my head has a little dull thumping thing going on and sleep sounds like my mothership.
Instead of this glorious and much-needed sleep, however, I must get to work.
After all, I am a GrammarGal.

Friday, 14 September 2012

Drunk post: Prince's Ball

Who knew that this Grammar Gal would get this drunk at Prince's ball?! It turns out that Vodka is my kryptonite and that I get ridic drunk from it (although I did have quite a bit).
The idea of this post is to type what I remember before I inevitably forget tomorrow.
OK, I met a guy, let's call him V-neck Jumper guy (or V-guy for short) and we danced and he put his hand on my lower back and I actually kissed him on the cheek at one point. But then I saw him with another girl and it reminded me of Loverat, so I leaved him behind...
Then there was this other guy who's into Medicine - so let's call him M. M danced withme and he took me to the trampoline where I reckon he wanted to take advantage of this intoxicated state I am in so I went to "find my sister" instead.
The there's a bunch of guys I danced with but I've forgotten their names. Oh yeah, and I grinded with M.
LOL at my life.
Then there's Prince himself - I didn't feel he was particularly interested in me - he was dancing with other people and when we danced in a group he didn't look at me.
But then his Ma suggested we dance and he held my waist and I held his side for a long time.

When I was saying my goodbyes I kissed him on the cheek. Then, with this extra Dutch Courage I went and told him bout the bet that if I got 9A*s I had to kiss him on the mouth (I didn't tell him that the actual dare was that I gotta snog him) and he asked how many I got and I said 11 so then I kissed him on the mouth (but, unfortunately, it wasn't for long!)

Now I want to see him tomorrow but I'm worried that his allure will fade with the alcohol - is it an allusion or do I really fancy Prince?
Mr Vodka told me that I fancy him, but who knows..?!
Keep you posted chums,
Grammar Gal

P.S. I may have drunk texted Knight with a much-owed apology for cocking things up... Gaa I'm such a plonker! C'est la vie, I'm gonna go get some sleeeeep :D

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Cynic no more: Fishing Trip Number 2

Hello chums,
I realise it has been an obscene amount of time since I last wrote a blog and I thought we should have a little catch-up session now.
Right, well I've been on a mission to Stop Britain's Upper Lip and so far this has resulted in:
A. Talking to strangers on the street about where they bought their T-shirts/shoes. Both times this was unsuccessful as it was a one-word answer and then they walked off. Rude.
B. Singing Backstreet Boys' "Everybody Backstreet's Back" to randomers on the tube (this is a major thing!)
C. Talking to new people on the bus who go to my school.
D. Making friends with new people at school. This isn't  breaking the British stereotype or anything, I thought I'd just mention it because I've met some really lovely people and gaa I'm just ridiculously happy right now :')
E. Here's the major one. Prepare yourself: Fishing Trip Number Two.

For anyone new to this blog, a Fishing Trip is where I try and fail to find good-looking and nice strangers to flirt atrociously (as in, I cock it up) with. Today these 2 cute boys (or, at least, they were cute by my standards so they may not actually be cute...well, to me they're cute) gave up their seats for an old couple and I smiled at them subconsciously because I love it when people are nice to old people. Then they came up to me and asked me who I thought was the most Gentlemanly.
After much deliberation I decided the guy who stood up first was the most gentlemanly, but I deliberated for a good 2 minutes - saying my thoughts out loud...
Then they asked how old I was, to which I informed them that I am 16.
They go to Bromley College and they were 17 (I think - they were definitely older than me and they were shocked that I was only 16).
After some obscene flirting (on their side not mine) where pick-up lines I didn't know existed were put into use (i.e. Boy A asked Boy B to confirm that he had a nice body and Boy B said they don't have that kind of friendship, but Boy A said he hoped that we would..) Boy B asked for my number and we talked some more.
Boy B said he loves Spongebob Squarepants and Boy B made me laugh when he said that he prefers more "manly" shows like *insert long pause* ...Eastenders.
I blurted out that I'm a die-hard Emmerdale Fan and that sometimes I watch the Omnibus just for LOLs and they laughed and I asked them whether this was turning them off. To my surprise it wasn't...Mindfuck :')
Well, since this bus journey Boy B has in fact texted me and, yes, I suppose I ought to text him back (although, if truth be told, I think I liked Boy A better...!)
Hmmm...what to do!
Well, at least I no longer feel like a Pathetic Singleton.
That reminds me, Loverat messaged me yesterday after leaving me waiting for almost a month! And Facebook told me that he read my message weeks ago. Naturally I therefore haven't messaged him back...
Oh, and it's Prince's Party this Friday! Fingers crossed this Cinderella will have fun at the ball...
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Can you blame this cynic?

It seems that some things haven't changed since the 1800s - such as, mothers trying to help their daughters find a partner. Mark this date in your calendars: September 14th I'm off to Prince's party where apparently there's a "good-looking", "single" and "outgoing" boy who shall whisk me away into the sunset.
I hope my sarcasm is transferring via the internet.
It's not that I'm a cynic - I am actually a glass-half full kind of gal, but lately things haven't been on the up-and-up boy-wise. Every boy that has looked twice at me has made Mr Collins look like Hugh Grant. The Supremes said You Can't Hurry Love but who knew that finding Mr Right would be such a long process?!
Which reminds me: today was my first day at sixth form. The people I briefly met seemed nice (especially my form) but I hope to do more mingling tomorrow.
Even though I remain adamant that I wouldn't want to date a sixthformer, there were no Fishing Opportunities and I'll explain why...
See, in my sixth form year there are around...5 or 6 decent looking boys (no, they are no rivals to the Rat Pack but they are decent enough) and they have been snapped up by some girls already (you know, the ones whose hair are always perfect and who never cock things up disastrously like someone we know...). So I see no point in trying to get in there - each boy has a 10metre radius of girls vying for their attention so why bother? True, all I want is a studybuddy but I think that when guys reach a certain age, they are looking for more than that...
But this is why I love John Hughes' films - they are ridiculously realistic. I just watched Sixteen Candles and one of the characters was the epitome of Creepy Guy on holiday, David, and you can identify with the main girl in it. My point is, his films aren't typical "girl-meets-boy" and they aren't "cute" - if you've ever seen The Breakfast Club then you'll see that Molly Ringwald and that guy don't exactly have a romantic relationship (they scream abuse at each other and then right at the end they get together for no apparent reason - it's still and awesome film)
Anyways, I need to get some sleep - it's 11pm and I need to get up at the ungodly hour of 6:15 :O
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal