It is a truth that I have come to terms with that I am amazing at cocking things up.
This does include daily life - i.e. getting on the wrong train and ending up at a station I cannot pronounce. However, most of my cock-ups (or, to prevent being sexist, we can call them tits-ups) have been related to boys/relationships.
I won't go through the list of ways I've ruined my friendships/relationships with boys. In a nutshell, I unintentionally lead them on, then ask for some space, get said space and never speak to them again. Usually this works out OK for me and it's a good defensive mechanism to prevent anybody being lumbered with me as their girlfriend. However, occassionally, when I say "no" to someone I realise that I was a twat and that I do infact like them - for instance, Knight who was perfect in an unconventional sense and who I rejected because I "didn't want a boyfriend to know and therefore potentially dislike everything about me - and also I didn't want a distraction from my homework" according to last year's diary...
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but it seems imperative that you understand my never-ending cycle of boy-girl relationships to understand what I'm about to tell you.
So, there's a boy who used to be a good friend of mine - I've mentioned him before somewhere on the blog and he had my back when some girls decided to declare a world war on me, and he is just lovely and the perfect mix of studious and party-goer.
I haven't talked to him in an age but he started talking to me a few days ago at the bus stop when he was with his (ridiculously intimidating) friends and though I was half-dead with exhaustion it was still quite pleasant.
Then I just spoke to him on Facebook and it's as easy as 123 (yes, the Jackson 5 helped me out on finding the words to describe him..!)
It would be great to get to know him again and whilst I don't see us going out (he's waaay out of my league - trust me!) it would still be cool to be mates (:
On the other hand, if he asked me out...
This is hypothetical of course because, as aforementioned, he is too cool for me.
Keep you posted,
P.S. Today I managed to walk - well, a better word to describe it would be "slam" - into the really cute and shy boy in my year who is ridiculously adorable. Having waited for this moment since I was a tiny year 7 I was fully expecting my books to fly everywhere, him to bend and help me pick them up, our eyes to meet, him to introduce himself and perhaps ask me out for the weekend (sure, it's a long shot but everyone exaggerates situations in their imagination!) and them BAM! we'd be voted "cutest couple" in the yearbook.
Alas, no. That's not what happened at all... I slammed into him and he said "sorry" in a sort-of gruff way. Then we went our separate ways without looking much at each other. Instead of a boyfriend, all I was left with from this encounter was an aching shoulder.