Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Tips for being a Happy Singleton

Today I had a half-day at school and I realllly didn't want to go home straight away so I went shopping for a little while. I was texting RF the whole time and he was egging me on to go and 'meet someone'. Personally, I'm not looking for a boyfriend because I'm hung up on Knight (who hasn't replied to any of my texts, hence He's Just Not That Into me..).
Right, so I went shopping and realised all the stupid couples around me being happy, and the stereotypical Pretty Couples that I mentioned in a previous blog.
So, here are my tips for being a Happy Singleton when shopping:
1. Maintain eye-contact with delicious boys. Only do this for a couple of seconds, or they'll think you're a weirdo...
2. Buy yourself some flowers. Preferably yellow flowers (because they brighten up your mood and then you feel Zen) and then all the couples will think that a boy bought you those flowers and you can help the market stalls' business (I find it really sad that no-one goes to market stalls anymore..)
3. Buy a book: people will think you're intellectual. If you combine buying a book with rolling up your school skirt then boys will think you're smart AND sexy (except, I couldn't be asked to roll my skirt up when it's already too small for me and I like being able to breathe).
4. Read a magazine/text people on your phone if you're sitting at a cafe (people will think you're waiting for someone).
5. Ask cute people what the time is, even though you already know: this starts conversation (RF wanted me to do this, but I chickened out - I apologise for failing all you Singletons...)

So, yeah, 5 steps to fun shopping time Grammar Gal style.
Yes, I'm aware that buying yourself flowers and buying a book may seem really sad but I'm SORRY that I love flowers and reading is just my life. What a gripping life I do lead. No wonder Knight hasn't texted back.

Oh well...let's not dwell!

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

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