The Kinky Question...

OK, guys. It's finally happened. I've found someone who meets all of my silly criteria and we met up yesterday which was so fun. We went to Notting Hill and it was just so pretty and aaahhhhhh.
We get along so well and we were laughing and, ah... Humbug/Cutie is just fabbity fantabulous.
BUT
How do I phrase this...
I sit next to Humbug's best friend in French and he thinks that I - the nun called Grammar Gals - am "kinky". As in, 50 Shades Of Grey handcuff-me-sir-let's-have-a-spanking-time.
HOW?!
You guys know I am about as sexual as a donner kebab covered in milk and scattered in almonds. It's just not something I would describe myself as.
But it's not like he called me 'sexual'. He called me 'kinky'. And according to Bazz I give off a kinky vibe. This perplexes me because the last time I checked I don't
A. Carry around handcuffs and ask people to "arrest me".
B. Own or wish to own a whip.
C. Have a cute maids-outfit. OK, I have lingerie. But that doesn't count...

Although...
Well, I'm open to costumes to be honest.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME KINKY.
This makes me...inventive?
Oh, I don't know. Don't judge my life.
Anyways, things are going really well with Humbug even though last weekend I got completely drunk and left a text on his phone which read: "Oh oh oh mysterious 'biu' I wanna get close to youuuuu". Yes, I'm surprised that he is still dating me, too. I was at lunch with him yesterday and he whipped out his phone and showed me a voicemail where I called him "soo fucking hot" and then proceeded to rabbit on about how I was a "drunk skunk, like OMG soooooo drunk".
So, I'm moving to Antartica.
Keep you posted!
xxx

The Social Hermit

I think it's been established by all who know me that I'm not a normal teen. Firstly, there's the fact that when I was at Reading Festival a part of me really missed my books. Then there's the fact that my idea of a rave is colour-coding my post-its whilst rapping along to Eminem. And now there's the fact that I'm becoming a Social Hermit who lives in Social Siberia.
It all started when I missed a party 2 weeks ago. Just one party. I was behind on my work and I decided to work through Friday night and therefore miss the drunken antics that were undoubtedly waiting for me. Then last weekend I claimed I was also "busy" and, again, I missed the opportunity to be a Drunk Skunk. Then there's my friend's gathering tonight, which I'm missing because of a "family thing", which translates into me wearing my "24 Reasons Chocolate in Better than Sex" T-shirt and doing my French homework.
OK...so I'm a freak?!
It's OK, I'm thinking it too! I am voluntarily a Sober Cobra and thus missing out on teenage drunkenness. I promise that this madness shall stop soon - it's just a stressful time with Oxford prep around the corner!

But now that I'm dating Cutie I think that there is little chance that I'll remain a Social Hermit forever because he likes doing this crazy thing called 'socialising'. He is a normal teenage boy who thinks the library is a mythical place in a faraway kingdom. Things are actually going amazingly well with Cutie (aka Humbug) and our date last weekend was adorable; we went to the park and we went to a maze and the kiss was fabulissimo.
After all of the Manwhores and Knobheads I've finally found a Hottie with a Heart.
Sighhhhhhhh.
I can still sense your judgement at my social seclusion but, rest assured, I am visiting my sister in Durham next weekend so I doubt that being a Sober Cobra will be an option ;)
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Turning over a new leaf

Ok, soooo much has changed since I last wrote here:
A. I found out that almost my entire school year has read my blog, including all of the male characters mentioned
B. Funny Guy and I have finally quasi-made up
C. I'm now dating Cutie - the boy who I had a crush on last year :')
D. Funny Guy and I are just friends now
E. I've decided to restart the blog but to make it less bitchy and vindictive and more happy and less personal :D

So with this new mantra I'm reloading Grammar Gal :)
As I already said, I'm dating a super-cute boy at my school and everything is going splendidly! : he is cute, he's charming, he's funny and we get along really well.
It's fabulissimo! So, technically, I'm not a 'convent gal' and my new URL is totally inappropriate but everyone knew my other one (literally, everyone!) so I'm in Blogging Exile on this hidden blog :')
Keep you posted on any new developments and I'm happy to be writing again, chums
Grammar gal xxxx

Goodbye for now

This used to be a dating blog about my life as a Teenage Spinster and my potential suitors. Then some horrible boys made me cynical and it became a bit bitchy and mean.
So I think I will take a break from the blog, it hurt someone I really like and nothing is worth that.

Also, I know that girls from my school have found the URL and my Posh Boys friends also know it.
So I'm going to need to change the URL I guess...
But I need a break for a while. Besides, all you'll be missing is me pining over Funny Guy and how I cocked up our friendship by making him agree to date me AND THEN slagging him off on here because I didn't want to feel clingy.

So, goodbye for now, chums.
Hopefully my next post will be happier,
Grammar Gal

Things Are About To Change

I'm going to tell the truth for once. In the last few posts, I've been talking absolute bullshit and I'm about to go on a deleting-spree of all of the things that I said which I didn't mean.
I'm considering deleting this blog altogether but I just love writing it and I can't bring myself to. However, this blog is about to change. It used to be a blog about being a mentally-obese teenager whose idea of flirting is asking a guy what the time is. But now it's been transformed into a poisonous blog where I talk about - and bitch about - guys who have hurt me.
I was very wrong about Funny Guy for many reasons.
Firstly, I thought that he was ignoring me because he realised he didn't like me and he was too cowardly to tell me he'd gone off me. Therefore, I was hurt because I hate being ignored and, yes, I went a bit Over The Top. I wrote a blog post about how I didn't need him and I proceeded to outline the things I didn't like about Funny Guy (and the only thing I could find was that my parents think he is gay. So I rambled on and on about that, when I know he isn't gay and he isn't even that camp) because:
A. I was hurt about him not replying
B. I was scared that I was becoming too clingy and enamoured by him. I talked to him every day and he was funny and intelligent and he treated me nicely (which definitely makes a first!). But then people told me I was really clingy and I realised that I needed to act more aloof. So I wrote horrible things about a perfectly lovely guy, in order to try and convince myself that I didn't like him that much.

Oh, how wrong I was! I think that the line of Knobheads and Manwhores who have bitchslapped my heart has made me so cynical about guys that when he hadn't replied I assumed he had found someone else whilst on holiday, and this is when the posts became vindictive.
And I'm not a vindictive person! Seriously, I hate bitchy people. And I cannot stand hurting people. Literally. I once told my friend Tree that his new hair cut was funny and I couldn't sleep for 2 nights.
And now Funny Guy thinks I am a horrible person because he found this stupid blog and he saw all the horrible things I said about him when I was trying to convince myself that I didn't like him.

Anyways, I have decided to stop talking about lovely people on here. I should have written about all my worries about Funny Guy in my diary like normal people, because now the nicest guy in the world has told me that he never wants to talk to me again.
And I know there is nothing I can do about it, and I have to respect his decision.
But that doesn't make this any easier.

AND I wish he had seen the earlier posts from a couple of weeks/months ago, when I told you guys that I fancied the pants off him and named all of his admirable qualities. But, no. He read the few posts where I acted totally out of character as a Crazy Bitch.

Starting from now, this blog is going back to being the place where I record happy thoughts, and bitchiness stops now.

The Problem with Overthinking

I'm an over thinker. When Funny Guy told me he liked me I was super super super happy. It was the first time in a LONG time that I listened to the happy songs by Taylor Swift. I've finally found a guy who is: funny, intelligent, lovely and hot as a fox.
 And most of my friends were happy too (some of them didn't seem very enthused and made me think that I was overreacting to Funny Guy's date proposal).
I just get too excited about small things like dates with boys I like.
And I think I'm more excited than Funny Guy. He seems so casual about it.
And now the beautiful friendship I had with Funny Guy is totally different: we used to send billions of texts to each other and it wouldn't be clingy because we were just friends. Now we're something more than that and I'm worried that he will think I'm too clingy just because I'm excited about a date with a cool kid.
But I have a plan to prove my coolness to this man.
We will (try to) pretend that this date is not a big deal at all.
Sorted.

Three Letter Rule

Hello, chums!

Long time, no speak, I am aware. However, I was cramming for my driving theory (I somehow passed!) and then I went on holiday to sunny California for 2 weeks! It was amazing and such fun, particularly Hollywood and the Warner Bros film set. 

But I've missed writing my little anecdotes. And I do have an anecdote and it is something to cross off my 18-Bucket List (my list of things to do before I turn 18): I was chatted up in a bookshop.

The boy in question was a fairly timid, cute Asian boy. I think he was around my age (not entirely sure, I spent most of the incident looking at the ground and wishing I had laser vision to make me a hole so I could crawl into it and avoid the embarassment of what I was enduring).

So, basically: I was in the bookshop in California,minding my own business. Then SUDDENLY I was approached by the aforementioned male. He was all like "I think I've seen your face before. Were you at the Farmers' Market?". I affirmed that I had been. Then he told me that he knew he would never see me again so he needed to tell me...

And then he trailed off and started a new conversation.

He asked where I was from and what I was up to and once I realised that he wasn't a bad guy from Taken I started to ease up and the conversation was starting to flow.

It was a cringey conversation though. He said that the fact I come from England was "just beautiful" and he ended our little talk by saying he was "very attracted" to me.

Mark me down as dubious about the boys I attract...

Anyways, the point of this post is for me to share with you my Three Letter Rule.

I have found, from my (albeit limited) experience with members of the opposite sex, that boys with 3 letters in their name are generally Knobheads.

For instance: Cas, Tom, Ben, Dan, Jon.

And now my friends are trying to set me up with a Ben. 

I vote no.

And then my other friend, who I absolutely adore, is trying to set me up with a 22-year-old.

Guys, I'm happy being a bachelorette :')

Keep you posted,

Grammar Gal xxx