Boy for a Day

This whole asking people out thing.
It's terrifying.
I know that there have been a lot of female liberation movements - the vote, equality in work opportunities, paying for our own meals... But the tradition of boys asking girls out? They can keep that.
I've been trying for 2 days now to get the courage to casually ask Prince to the cinema and each time I have failed. The Sister Suffragettes are probably rolling in their graves as we speak.
The thing is, it is mindblowingly scary
A. What if they turn you down?
B. What if they agree out of pity?
C. What if they agree and then stand you up?
D. What if you come across too eager?
E. What if the date is beyond awkward because they don't really want to be there?

You can see my dilemma.
And so (hanging my head in shame as I type this) I give up.
I am no good at chasing people; I am a quitter.
Please forgive me, chums
Grammar Gal xxx

Back on the Prince Waggon

Hola chums,
Lately some people have told me that I am too cynical about boys and that I should date some so I don't think they're all evil (well, the manscum I've liked have indeed made me lose faith in boykind). And so, I cast my mind back to the last boy that I knew that was genuinely nice and who may (possibly perhaps) have liked me. And that was Prince. So now here's my Prince Plan.
I'm hoping to ask him to the cinema (it's a long shot - I'll probably chicken out or he'll say no) and just see where things go. He's great: funny, sarcastic, cute, tall, older. Ticks all the right boxes, so I'm intrigued to see what happens...
So, yes, that's the new plan.
Oh, and Tree and his friends called me "Number Two" because I'm the second girl he got with at our school :')
Sigh. And when faced with this boyish immature behaviour I cannot help but want a stable, normal thing. And that's exactly what Prince would provide (appreciate the alliteration).
So we'll just see what happens...
Let you know when I cock it up/he flat-out rejects me,
Grammar Gal xxx

Life Lessons - Tree

Tree is the boy who goes to my school who I idiotically snogged - or, to be more precise, who snogged me. Naturally, I feel ridiculously awkward when I see him in the corridor because

A. He doesn't smile so we had awkward eye contact today with no smiles involved

B. He kissed another girl 2 days after he kissed me, and he doesn't know that I don't like him (he asked my friend if I fancied him - erm...no)

C. I had the WORST flashback today. I...I'm not sure if I can even say this. I licked him neck. 

I was trying to be all sexy-Marilyn and I remembered that Loverat once kissed my neck and it was the sexiest thing e-v-e-r but...I didn't do it right. And, more to the point, Tree's kiss was bad. He gave me toooooo much teeth (we actually bumped teeth at one point...) and I (cringing as I write this) told him this. I basically narrated our kiss whilst he was kissing me. I told him that it felt "weird" (well I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him his kissing is as good as Boris Johnson's face...). So he picked me up which, not going to lie, did improve things but still...it was weird.

OH AND HE'S SUCH A LIAR; he said he would talk to me at school and it "would not be awkward". Lies. Lies.LIES I TELL YOU. There was no talking. There was awkward eye contact and shivers went up my spine from the awkwardness.

Sigh.

Solutions I can think of...

1. Stop telling people I got with Tree because now whenever he walks by all the nudge-nudge wink-winks from people are making it obvious and more awkward for me to talk to him.

2. Talk to him in a group of people in a very casual way

3. Talk to him alone and explain that I don't (always) get off with guys at parties.

4. Leave the country.

Right now 4 is looking appealing, especially after the neck-licking incident...

Keep you posted,

Grammar Gal

No more alcohol

I'm going on an alcohol-strike.
Last night I had so much Vodka that I
1. Lay down in the middle of the road and looked at the stars
2. Was violently sick
3. Passed out in my bed at my own house
4. Started crying for no real reason

So, yeah, I need a break from alcohol because if we review the times I've been drunk...
Incident one: French exchange. Told Knight I loved him and he didn't say it back.
Incident Two: Durham with my sister. I couldn't remember how to talk
Incident Three:Cruise. I got off with a random 18-yr-old and then cried when he got off with someone else...
Incident Four: I got off with a random boy in Durham whose surname I didn't even know. Then I started crying because I didn't know him and I'm not that kind of girl - I prefer dating a guy before kissing him.
Incident Five: Haloween party where I got off with a popular boy from my school and then, 2 days later, he got off with someone else. Not a long-lasting romance...
Incident Six Sick at my own party and could not speak...

Oh but other than the sickness last night was fun and today was great. I had a lie-in and then watched my favourite film, Tiffany's and then we went and saw The Jersey Boys in Soho. Soho is my all-time favourite place in London so that put me in a good mood!
Knight didn't say happy birthday to me but can I really be surprised? He's moved on.
And so have/will I
xxx

Oh, who's surprised?!
The boy I got with at the Halloween Party got with someone last night (as predicted by my sixth sense) but I really don't care...that much...
The girl who kissed the boy was the Old Me and I'm now back to my former sense (the New Me - it's a bit complex!) and so I don't mind.
It was a mistake (As was Shy Guy and Loverat) but now I've moved on - whoop whoop!!
So now I'm in this really nice Zen mood where the cartoon birds are braiding my hair and I'm singing lalalalalala
I'm just feeling high on life :D
And it's all because of my new plan to be more like myself again - no more of this floozy business!

Oh, I have a party to host in less that 4 hours and I still haven't decided on what we're going to do.
Oh well, that's what alcohol's for!!
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

P.S. Had the weirdest dream where I lived with Knight and his girlfriend and he and she both hated me because I tried cooking a meal in a microwave and it blew up. Then she started crying and he told me to piss off. So I went out with his roommate and then Knight punched the roommate in the face for no apparent reason. Mindfuck.

Pity Party & 17-Bucket List

Technically tomorrow is my birthday but I'm far from being excited.
Firstly, I feel like really cheap. After talking to Bazz and Knight I tried to put things into perspective and told myself that it didn't matter that I got with random guys - it's not that big a deal. But then tonight I told my mother about it (it slipped out!) and she warned me not to be "easy" or boys will "love you and leave you". Instead, I'm supposed to "treat em mean and keep em keen" which was my life-philosophy up until Loverat and the Cruise.
Eurgh I wish I could go back in my tardis and not have kissed one of the coolest boys in my school. I am full of self-loathing because
A. He probably snogged another girl tonight at the party he went to
B. School will be awkward
C. Any attempt to try to be friends could be perceived as desperate/needy/clingy
D. Any attempt at asking him to be friends will be Royally Cocked up
E. He didn't know me and I let him kiss me. Rest assured, I told him about my vow and I told him I didn't want to kiss a guy until I'd dated him. But he was so persuading damn him. And I Royally Regret it.

But basically my mother's words of wisdom have made me feel about as useful as Branflakes.
Sigh.

OH AND ALSO I'm depressed about my upcoming birthday because I haven't fulfilled a lot of my Before-17-Bucket List of things I wanted to do before turning 17:
1. Have a proper holiday romance (preferably with an Italian guy called Paolo) = NOT COMPLETED (Loverat was NOT a holiday romance. He was a Super Rat).
2. Have a relationship that lasted longer than the expiry date of the ham in my fridge = Need I answer?! NOT COMPLETED
3. Ride on the back of a moped = NOT COMPLETED
4. Have a first kiss = COMPLETED but regretted -  I would rather have waited for the Dreamy Guy to whisk me away than all of this nonsense (BUT I'm now going to be less easy and more witty, daring and mysterious as of now - promise)
5. Have a boy go to my house just to see me = NOT COMPLETED

Basically, I wanted my life to be along the lines of The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants but, naturally, it turned out more like Breakfast at Tiffany's without the happy ending mixed with Pretty Woman where she's still a prostitute (OK, I may be being slightly melodramatic...)

Keep you posted on the New Me who is actually just the old me (not easy, witty - or at least I try - and an old romantic),
Grammar Gal xxx

Renewing the vow

OK, last night was a big mistake.
I should have stopped drinking as soon as I reached my Vodka Wall (halfway) but instead I carried on and on and on...
So I got with someone from my school who knows nothing about me - he doesn't know my favourite colour, my favourite band, my ambitions...
It's just all wrong. Knight messaged me back on Facebook (:O) with a rather patronising message that it doesn't matter about this guy because we only kissed so it's not that big a deal.
Yes, he's right.
But, I am and forever will be an old romantic. So when I kiss a guy I want it to be Breakfast-at-Tiffanys-in-the-rain spectacular.
Not what's-his-name-again?
This time I blame the Vodka, but now I've learnt my lesson to not get drunk again and get off with strangers. It's not good.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

P.S. According to the pictures on Facebook I had lipstick unattractively smudged on my forehead for most of the night. Fanfrickingtastic :')
P.P.S. I just made a very awkward situation by telling the boy whose six-pack I dissed yesterday not to forget about the t-shirt he promised to make me (I was drunk - it made sense at the time)...and he saw the message...and didn't reply.
Perhaps this would be ok if he was a normal human being but he's so intimidating that when I next see him I think I'll walk into a wall out of embarrassment...
P.P.P.S Knight hasn't replied after I replied to his patronising message (where I agreed with him that snogging isn't a big deal but I'd rather snog people that knew stuff about me) but Facebook tells me he has seen my message. I hate it when Facebook does that because now I can't tell myself that his Facebook is broken or that he tried to reply but his phone burst into flames. I have to face the harsh truth: that he saw the message and can't be arsed to reply. Harrumph. Oh well, fuck 'im (: