Monday, 5 November 2012

Life Lessons - Tree

Tree is the boy who goes to my school who I idiotically snogged - or, to be more precise, who snogged me. Naturally, I feel ridiculously awkward when I see him in the corridor because
A. He doesn't smile so we had awkward eye contact today with no smiles involved
B. He kissed another girl 2 days after he kissed me, and he doesn't know that I don't like him (he asked my friend if I fancied him -
C. I had the WORST flashback today. I...I'm not sure if I can even say this. I licked him neck. 
I was trying to be all sexy-Marilyn and I remembered that Loverat once kissed my neck and it was the sexiest thing e-v-e-r but...I didn't do it right. And, more to the point, Tree's kiss was bad. He gave me toooooo much teeth (we actually bumped teeth at one point...) and I (cringing as I write this) told him this. I basically narrated our kiss whilst he was kissing me. I told him that it felt "weird" (well I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him his kissing is as good as Boris Johnson's face...). So he picked me up which, not going to lie, did improve things but was weird.
OH AND HE'S SUCH A LIAR; he said he would talk to me at school and it "would not be awkward". Lies. Lies.LIES I TELL YOU. There was no talking. There was awkward eye contact and shivers went up my spine from the awkwardness.
Solutions I can think of...
1. Stop telling people I got with Tree because now whenever he walks by all the nudge-nudge wink-winks from people are making it obvious and more awkward for me to talk to him.
2. Talk to him in a group of people in a very casual way
3. Talk to him alone and explain that I don't (always) get off with guys at parties.
4. Leave the country.

Right now 4 is looking appealing, especially after the neck-licking incident...
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

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