On the one hand, Knight is a complete prick who has ignored me for months, forced me into a spiral of depression where listening to Sad FM seemed to be the only relief I could get.
On the other hand, Knight is perfect. We can't debate this - just take my word for it; his girlfriend is a very lucky girl.
Look, I already know that he's out of reach now and I've accepted this, but everyone I talk to thinks that Knight is a Knob and I feel the need to show you the other side of the argument - the side where I cocked up.
Today I found myself looking at old messages from Knight and I came across this:
I love everything about you, your smile, your hair and the fact that you inexplicably think that dogs can read your mind. I dont mind that you dont feel the same way about me and i shall never stop talking to you until the unfortunate day when i create the worlds biggest frappacino and it falls and crushes me, but until that day i shall continue to give you weather reports and randam updates on things. Even if you dont feel the same way as i do to you im just so happy i know you. I do and shall always love you.
And I let this amazing boy slip through my fingers.
So if anyone's a knob it's me.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Simple as this
Yesterday I was paid £30 to stare at a wall for 4 hours (as an overseer for the entrance exams to the Convent - a.k.a. my Grammar School).
This gave me a lot of time to think about me and Knight and I've made some important decisions.
If he wants me back as a friend then it's going to take more than a drunken text message.
If I reply to him (I'm still considering not replying) then I need to let him know that he won't be forgiven easily.
Let's not forget that it took SIX rebounds to get over Knight - and now he wants to be friends...
So I think it would probably be healthier for me to turn my attentions to Z. Sure, I want to be best friends with Knight but I can't just forgive him. Or maybe I can. I'm a forgiving type of person after all. But I don't want to be a doormat - he can't just walk all over me.
Regardless, I think it's wiser if I try my hardest to not fancy Knight and, instead, to feel platonic love towards him. After all, he does have a girlfriend.
And Z is really cute - he's funny, good-looking, replies to my messages and it's not complicated!
Keep you posted on how I will cock this up,
Grammar Gal xxx
This gave me a lot of time to think about me and Knight and I've made some important decisions.
If he wants me back as a friend then it's going to take more than a drunken text message.
If I reply to him (I'm still considering not replying) then I need to let him know that he won't be forgiven easily.
Let's not forget that it took SIX rebounds to get over Knight - and now he wants to be friends...
So I think it would probably be healthier for me to turn my attentions to Z. Sure, I want to be best friends with Knight but I can't just forgive him. Or maybe I can. I'm a forgiving type of person after all. But I don't want to be a doormat - he can't just walk all over me.
Regardless, I think it's wiser if I try my hardest to not fancy Knight and, instead, to feel platonic love towards him. After all, he does have a girlfriend.
And Z is really cute - he's funny, good-looking, replies to my messages and it's not complicated!
Keep you posted on how I will cock this up,
Grammar Gal xxx
Thursday, 27 September 2012
Just...there are no words
It seems that when one part of your life is going great another inevitably goes tits-up. With me, however, most days everything is just tits-up [no euphemism intended!]
Alas, no. Instead, the numpty didn't get the bus today so he still has the umbrella and I don't have a date!
Then, whilst mourning this on the bus, I realised I have a message from Knight the Knob on my phone.
He did apologise for being...well...a knob. However, I am a historian and every good historian knows that you need to analyse your sources for their reliability: it was sent late at night meaning that he was probably drunk, so everything he said means very little.
Nonetheless, I do need to reply to his message but what does one say when the boy you've spent bloody ages getting over, suddenly wants to make up? And he still has a girlfriend so it would be a 'Just Friends' scenario, but can I do 'Just Friends' with my ex-Knight-in-Abercrombie-and-Fitch??
Who knows??
OH! AAAAND Beaver and his girlfriend (the blonde curvy one that we are insanely jealous of) broke up. My faith in relationships and true love has now been diminished into nothing.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
Alas, no. Instead, the numpty didn't get the bus today so he still has the umbrella and I don't have a date!
Then, whilst mourning this on the bus, I realised I have a message from Knight the Knob on my phone.
He did apologise for being...well...a knob. However, I am a historian and every good historian knows that you need to analyse your sources for their reliability: it was sent late at night meaning that he was probably drunk, so everything he said means very little.
Nonetheless, I do need to reply to his message but what does one say when the boy you've spent bloody ages getting over, suddenly wants to make up? And he still has a girlfriend so it would be a 'Just Friends' scenario, but can I do 'Just Friends' with my ex-Knight-in-Abercrombie-and-Fitch??
Who knows??
OH! AAAAND Beaver and his girlfriend (the blonde curvy one that we are insanely jealous of) broke up. My faith in relationships and true love has now been diminished into nothing.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
New Approach Needed
I know I said I was going to give up on Z because
A. He's waaay out of my league (literally, it would be like Prince Harry dating Amy Childs)
B. He's too popular and sociable (whereas I like to organise my post-its in my free time...)
C. He told me that my face is more defined since we last met (which is either an awful compliment or a slightly rubbish insult)
I marched to my bus stop full of determination that I would not find him attractive and would carry on with my life.
Of course I didn't succeed in this endeavour.
Z is gorgeous. But, more than that, he's lovely.
Lovely + gorgeous = yum.
So I may have a tiny crush on Z. But, let's be honest, it's never going to amount to anything unless I can say something to his face. This is problematic for me because I only talk to popular people when
1. On Facebook (it's a lot less embarrassing).
2. Drunk (but, then again, I talk to lamposts when I'm drunk)
So far this week, my physical contact with Z has included me meeting his gaze this morning, dropping it straight away and subsequently playing with my hair and cursing myself for being such a num. Call me pessimistic, but I don't think that this method is going to get him to ask me out.
So prepare for my Plan: I'm considering asking him out for a "casual" coffee on Sunday. This will give us that chance to "catch up" in person and for me to decide whether I fancy him. So it all rests on this hypothetical date.
But let's not get carried away with ourselves- I have to actually ask him out first. How the hell am I going to do that when social interaction with boys is my kryptonite (well, that and bikini shopping...) ??
Wish me luck,
Grammar Gal
A. He's waaay out of my league (literally, it would be like Prince Harry dating Amy Childs)
B. He's too popular and sociable (whereas I like to organise my post-its in my free time...)
C. He told me that my face is more defined since we last met (which is either an awful compliment or a slightly rubbish insult)
I marched to my bus stop full of determination that I would not find him attractive and would carry on with my life.
Of course I didn't succeed in this endeavour.
Z is gorgeous. But, more than that, he's lovely.
Lovely + gorgeous = yum.
So I may have a tiny crush on Z. But, let's be honest, it's never going to amount to anything unless I can say something to his face. This is problematic for me because I only talk to popular people when
1. On Facebook (it's a lot less embarrassing).
2. Drunk (but, then again, I talk to lamposts when I'm drunk)
So far this week, my physical contact with Z has included me meeting his gaze this morning, dropping it straight away and subsequently playing with my hair and cursing myself for being such a num. Call me pessimistic, but I don't think that this method is going to get him to ask me out.
So prepare for my Plan: I'm considering asking him out for a "casual" coffee on Sunday. This will give us that chance to "catch up" in person and for me to decide whether I fancy him. So it all rests on this hypothetical date.
But let's not get carried away with ourselves- I have to actually ask him out first. How the hell am I going to do that when social interaction with boys is my kryptonite (well, that and bikini shopping...) ??
Wish me luck,
Grammar Gal
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Boy Decoder, anyone?
Hey chums,
So I've been talking to Z a bit and we're in that awkward stage where I want to talk to him but I feel like an imposition - I don't want to appear too clingy. True, most of my friends and most girls my age would say that you should just be straight-forward with a guy and reply as soon as you receive his message.
But what if that makes me seem to keen?? In order to avoid this, I've been waiting at least 5 minutes before replying.
In adopting this method I have made our conversation last all day :O
Anyways, the point of this post was the Boy Decoder. I really wish there was a way that you could strip all the rubbish and pretence from what a boy is saying or find out the hidden meanings to what he's saying.
Alas, no. Us girls have to try to decipher what it means when he says "kk" instead of "OK" or "hello" instead of "hi".
Today, Z said that I looked different to how I did when I was in Yr 8 because my "face is more defined".
What the hell does that mean?!
A. Did my face used to be blurry?
B. Are my chin and nose now pointier?
C. Seriously, what else could this comment mean?!!
Due to the absence of a Boy Decoder I've had to use my faulty perceptive skills which tell me that this boy is Not That Into Me because telling a girl that her "face is more defined" is either
A. Some form of insult
B. The worst compliment ever.
Either way it hardly suggests that this is a boy who wants to see my "defined" face more often.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
So I've been talking to Z a bit and we're in that awkward stage where I want to talk to him but I feel like an imposition - I don't want to appear too clingy. True, most of my friends and most girls my age would say that you should just be straight-forward with a guy and reply as soon as you receive his message.
But what if that makes me seem to keen?? In order to avoid this, I've been waiting at least 5 minutes before replying.
In adopting this method I have made our conversation last all day :O
Anyways, the point of this post was the Boy Decoder. I really wish there was a way that you could strip all the rubbish and pretence from what a boy is saying or find out the hidden meanings to what he's saying.
Alas, no. Us girls have to try to decipher what it means when he says "kk" instead of "OK" or "hello" instead of "hi".
Today, Z said that I looked different to how I did when I was in Yr 8 because my "face is more defined".
What the hell does that mean?!
A. Did my face used to be blurry?
B. Are my chin and nose now pointier?
C. Seriously, what else could this comment mean?!!
Due to the absence of a Boy Decoder I've had to use my faulty perceptive skills which tell me that this boy is Not That Into Me because telling a girl that her "face is more defined" is either
A. Some form of insult
B. The worst compliment ever.
Either way it hardly suggests that this is a boy who wants to see my "defined" face more often.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Uh-oh, we're in trouble...
It is a truth that I have come to terms with that I am amazing at cocking things up.
This does include daily life - i.e. getting on the wrong train and ending up at a station I cannot pronounce. However, most of my cock-ups (or, to prevent being sexist, we can call them tits-ups) have been related to boys/relationships.
I won't go through the list of ways I've ruined my friendships/relationships with boys. In a nutshell, I unintentionally lead them on, then ask for some space, get said space and never speak to them again. Usually this works out OK for me and it's a good defensive mechanism to prevent anybody being lumbered with me as their girlfriend. However, occassionally, when I say "no" to someone I realise that I was a twat and that I do infact like them - for instance, Knight who was perfect in an unconventional sense and who I rejected because I "didn't want a boyfriend to know and therefore potentially dislike everything about me - and also I didn't want a distraction from my homework" according to last year's diary...
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but it seems imperative that you understand my never-ending cycle of boy-girl relationships to understand what I'm about to tell you.
So, there's a boy who used to be a good friend of mine - I've mentioned him before somewhere on the blog and he had my back when some girls decided to declare a world war on me, and he is just lovely and the perfect mix of studious and party-goer.
I haven't talked to him in an age but he started talking to me a few days ago at the bus stop when he was with his (ridiculously intimidating) friends and though I was half-dead with exhaustion it was still quite pleasant.
Then I just spoke to him on Facebook and it's as easy as 123 (yes, the Jackson 5 helped me out on finding the words to describe him..!)
It would be great to get to know him again and whilst I don't see us going out (he's waaay out of my league - trust me!) it would still be cool to be mates (:
On the other hand, if he asked me out...
This is hypothetical of course because, as aforementioned, he is too cool for me.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
P.S. Today I managed to walk - well, a better word to describe it would be "slam" - into the really cute and shy boy in my year who is ridiculously adorable. Having waited for this moment since I was a tiny year 7 I was fully expecting my books to fly everywhere, him to bend and help me pick them up, our eyes to meet, him to introduce himself and perhaps ask me out for the weekend (sure, it's a long shot but everyone exaggerates situations in their imagination!) and them BAM! we'd be voted "cutest couple" in the yearbook.
Alas, no. That's not what happened at all... I slammed into him and he said "sorry" in a sort-of gruff way. Then we went our separate ways without looking much at each other. Instead of a boyfriend, all I was left with from this encounter was an aching shoulder.
This does include daily life - i.e. getting on the wrong train and ending up at a station I cannot pronounce. However, most of my cock-ups (or, to prevent being sexist, we can call them tits-ups) have been related to boys/relationships.
I won't go through the list of ways I've ruined my friendships/relationships with boys. In a nutshell, I unintentionally lead them on, then ask for some space, get said space and never speak to them again. Usually this works out OK for me and it's a good defensive mechanism to prevent anybody being lumbered with me as their girlfriend. However, occassionally, when I say "no" to someone I realise that I was a twat and that I do infact like them - for instance, Knight who was perfect in an unconventional sense and who I rejected because I "didn't want a boyfriend to know and therefore potentially dislike everything about me - and also I didn't want a distraction from my homework" according to last year's diary...
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but it seems imperative that you understand my never-ending cycle of boy-girl relationships to understand what I'm about to tell you.
So, there's a boy who used to be a good friend of mine - I've mentioned him before somewhere on the blog and he had my back when some girls decided to declare a world war on me, and he is just lovely and the perfect mix of studious and party-goer.
I haven't talked to him in an age but he started talking to me a few days ago at the bus stop when he was with his (ridiculously intimidating) friends and though I was half-dead with exhaustion it was still quite pleasant.
Then I just spoke to him on Facebook and it's as easy as 123 (yes, the Jackson 5 helped me out on finding the words to describe him..!)
It would be great to get to know him again and whilst I don't see us going out (he's waaay out of my league - trust me!) it would still be cool to be mates (:
On the other hand, if he asked me out...
This is hypothetical of course because, as aforementioned, he is too cool for me.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
P.S. Today I managed to walk - well, a better word to describe it would be "slam" - into the really cute and shy boy in my year who is ridiculously adorable. Having waited for this moment since I was a tiny year 7 I was fully expecting my books to fly everywhere, him to bend and help me pick them up, our eyes to meet, him to introduce himself and perhaps ask me out for the weekend (sure, it's a long shot but everyone exaggerates situations in their imagination!) and them BAM! we'd be voted "cutest couple" in the yearbook.
Alas, no. That's not what happened at all... I slammed into him and he said "sorry" in a sort-of gruff way. Then we went our separate ways without looking much at each other. Instead of a boyfriend, all I was left with from this encounter was an aching shoulder.
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