Fantabulous Start for the New Me until...

...Last night!
OK, so I kept my promise. I was a cool kid: very laid-back, very suave. I would see Humbug and actually go and talk to him instead of hyperventilating or running away. Even in English where I am forced to sit behind him and a ridiculously pretty girl, I am able to keep my cool and not see her as a (massive) threat.
Life was so lalalalalalalalalala. I was singing the HAPPY songs of Taylor Swift (and everybody loves a bit o' "State of Grace" and "Stay Stay Stay"...!).
Then last night it was my friend's birthday party.
I got ready with some friends, wearing a creme dress which was so tight that I realised breathing was no longer an option, and a bra that was so tight that I felt like it was velcro-d onto me (but, alas, my boobs still looked the size of golf balls).
Then I got to the party, having already downed half of my Sourz within 15 minutes. I proceeded swiftly and idiotically towards beer and cider.
Then I naturally vommed in the toilets because I put the ass in class.
Having vommed and cleaned my mouth out and eaten my body weight in popcorn, I started talking to Humbug. And one thing led to another and...
Yes, we kissed.
Now, I won't lie: the kissing is gooooood. As in, I'm seriously contemplating entering us in to the Olympics of Kissing because we would win gold. We connect fantabulously on a physical level but...
I'm probably being a goof but I'm not sure we have enough in common.
Nope, scratch that: we have nothing in common! He's laid back and I'm as neurotic as a rocket scientist on speed. He's sciencey and I'm basically an immature, clumsy and un-classy Jane Austen (OK, the only parallel between me and her is that we both like reading).
And our conversation is sometimes confusing because I don't think he understands/appreciates my wacky sense of humour. I feel like this is a guy who tolerates my weirdness instead of liking me for it.
And now tonight there is another party and Curly Haired Guy will be there (the ex) and he will be charming and will make it clear that he loved me and then I will regret my life choices and be tempted by this manipulative knobhead to go back to his lying ass.
So, all in all, we are in a pickle.
But then part of me reckons I may just be over-analysing as per! Maybe I'm just looking for reasons I shouldn't be with Humbug because I don't like committment...
Hmmmmmm....hard to tell. I feel like we both really like each other but I'm not sure if we mesh well...
But I do really like him! And he's a goofy drunk like me, so we were Drunk Skunk Dancing  which was amoosing :L
Anyways, I really must dash and do this English essay. I'm considering not going to the party tonight because I genuinely miss my nights in with my post-its. Social siberia was actually super-fun compared to being in Andover (hungover) and not being able to work. As a workaholic I need to work. Need. Necessity.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Say goodbye to the Queen of Jealousy

You know them girls who are absolutely mental - like Bridget jones in The Edge of Reason? Well, I've become one of their tribe: I speak the Jealous Language, I wear the Neurotic Uniform. I've just been a bit mental, to sum up.
As per usual, I've been dwelling on all of the reasons that me and Humbug shouldn't be together to try and turn me off him because I am a commitment phobe. I've also been totally crazy and jealous of him and other girls / insecure for no reason. Now, THIS is new. In all my other failed dating thingys I've never been a psycho, I'm usually Miss Mellow Marshmallow but now I'm acting like a twazzock.
So I have made the very sensible decision of retiring the Queen of Jealousy.
I've also decided to write on this blog more - I miss writing! It's all Funny Guy's fault for making me stop writing for 2 months and now I keep forgetting to write.
Also, humbug thinks my career goal is cliche :0
Ah it's so weird writing after so long!
Keep you posted (pinkie promise this time)
Grammar Gal xxx

My Hatred for Technology

In the olden days when the love of your life left you for a random girl you would write them letters and cry about it and then move on. Nowadays, it's not that simple.
There's this thing called Facebook, where Knight the Knobhead is able to message me (asking me what happened to my blog and wishing me a happy birthday) and where he is just a mouse-click away. I don't want that temptation, thank you very much!
Technology is just so frustrating like that. I don't want to be kept updated with what my "friend" the Knob is doing. I don't care if he's having a whale of a time with Sutcliffe.
Eurgh.
I'm going to go and live in a cave.

Becoming Rory

I'm concerned. Very concerned. On my first date with Humbug I was a shy little mouse because
A. I was tired
B. He was sooooooo loud that I couldn't get a word in edgeways
C. He was a bit intimidating
D. I had nothing really to say.

However, I thought we had made it through this stage. I thought we were through the Awkward Tunnel and in the fields of mellowness. But, alas, no.
He still thinks I am shy, and I suppose I can see why.
I never talk to his friends because I'm an awkward melon and I avert eye contact with all people who intimidate me. Secondly, Humbug is in my English class where, similarly, there are some really intimidating people (including the teacher himself who is so blunt and says "No, I think you're wrong" to our comments!). So, from this, he thinks I'm really shy.
But when I'm with him I'm usually bubbly and quirky like normal...!! OK, so sometimes I'm ridiculously tired (thanks to the glandular fever last year) and then I'm not quite such a happy chappy and I'm not so full of energy so I'm quiet and I just listen. But SOMETIMES I AM MY NORMAL BUBBLY SELF.
It's like I'm becoming Rory from Gilmore Girls - she spends all her time in the library, she reads, she's shy...
But I'm not a Rory! True, I'm all innocent and naive like her, but I am NOT shy.
I'm outgoing! And Humbug texted me "You're the most outgoing person I know LOL JK" which was so mean...!
Harrumph.
And he's meant to be coming round later to watch Lord of the Rings. But I'm so annoyed gaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

The Kinky Question...

OK, guys. It's finally happened. I've found someone who meets all of my silly criteria and we met up yesterday which was so fun. We went to Notting Hill and it was just so pretty and aaahhhhhh.
We get along so well and we were laughing and, ah... Humbug/Cutie is just fabbity fantabulous.
BUT
How do I phrase this...
I sit next to Humbug's best friend in French and he thinks that I - the nun called Grammar Gals - am "kinky". As in, 50 Shades Of Grey handcuff-me-sir-let's-have-a-spanking-time.
HOW?!
You guys know I am about as sexual as a donner kebab covered in milk and scattered in almonds. It's just not something I would describe myself as.
But it's not like he called me 'sexual'. He called me 'kinky'. And according to Bazz I give off a kinky vibe. This perplexes me because the last time I checked I don't
A. Carry around handcuffs and ask people to "arrest me".
B. Own or wish to own a whip.
C. Have a cute maids-outfit. OK, I have lingerie. But that doesn't count...

Although...
Well, I'm open to costumes to be honest.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME KINKY.
This makes me...inventive?
Oh, I don't know. Don't judge my life.
Anyways, things are going really well with Humbug even though last weekend I got completely drunk and left a text on his phone which read: "Oh oh oh mysterious 'biu' I wanna get close to youuuuu". Yes, I'm surprised that he is still dating me, too. I was at lunch with him yesterday and he whipped out his phone and showed me a voicemail where I called him "soo fucking hot" and then proceeded to rabbit on about how I was a "drunk skunk, like OMG soooooo drunk".
So, I'm moving to Antartica.
Keep you posted!
xxx

The Social Hermit

I think it's been established by all who know me that I'm not a normal teen. Firstly, there's the fact that when I was at Reading Festival a part of me really missed my books. Then there's the fact that my idea of a rave is colour-coding my post-its whilst rapping along to Eminem. And now there's the fact that I'm becoming a Social Hermit who lives in Social Siberia.
It all started when I missed a party 2 weeks ago. Just one party. I was behind on my work and I decided to work through Friday night and therefore miss the drunken antics that were undoubtedly waiting for me. Then last weekend I claimed I was also "busy" and, again, I missed the opportunity to be a Drunk Skunk. Then there's my friend's gathering tonight, which I'm missing because of a "family thing", which translates into me wearing my "24 Reasons Chocolate in Better than Sex" T-shirt and doing my French homework.
OK...so I'm a freak?!
It's OK, I'm thinking it too! I am voluntarily a Sober Cobra and thus missing out on teenage drunkenness. I promise that this madness shall stop soon - it's just a stressful time with Oxford prep around the corner!

But now that I'm dating Cutie I think that there is little chance that I'll remain a Social Hermit forever because he likes doing this crazy thing called 'socialising'. He is a normal teenage boy who thinks the library is a mythical place in a faraway kingdom. Things are actually going amazingly well with Cutie (aka Humbug) and our date last weekend was adorable; we went to the park and we went to a maze and the kiss was fabulissimo.
After all of the Manwhores and Knobheads I've finally found a Hottie with a Heart.
Sighhhhhhhh.
I can still sense your judgement at my social seclusion but, rest assured, I am visiting my sister in Durham next weekend so I doubt that being a Sober Cobra will be an option ;)
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Turning over a new leaf

Ok, soooo much has changed since I last wrote here:
A. I found out that almost my entire school year has read my blog, including all of the male characters mentioned
B. Funny Guy and I have finally quasi-made up
C. I'm now dating Cutie - the boy who I had a crush on last year :')
D. Funny Guy and I are just friends now
E. I've decided to restart the blog but to make it less bitchy and vindictive and more happy and less personal :D

So with this new mantra I'm reloading Grammar Gal :)
As I already said, I'm dating a super-cute boy at my school and everything is going splendidly! : he is cute, he's charming, he's funny and we get along really well.
It's fabulissimo! So, technically, I'm not a 'convent gal' and my new URL is totally inappropriate but everyone knew my other one (literally, everyone!) so I'm in Blogging Exile on this hidden blog :')
Keep you posted on any new developments and I'm happy to be writing again, chums
Grammar gal xxxx