Sunday, 20 December 2015

How I Went from Girlfriend Goddess to Mayoress of Singleton

I am aware that I haven't written in a long time, but my (rather rubbish) excuses are three-fold:
A. I've been at uni. Now, I know that sounds like a generic "oooo I was busy" reason, but trust me: I spend my days either trying to be Hermione and living in the library, or sticking my head down the toilet and trying to Tactical Chunder to get rid of my hangover so I can carpe that diem .
B. Mr Melon and I broke up shortly after I wrote the last post. Now, don't be deceived: I haven't been Bridget Jones-ing (yes, it's a verb) and wrapped up in my duvet for the last 3 months. Instead, I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to not think about it... so I thought that writing a blog post about it would be redundant - but, heyho, here we are!!!
C. My love life has been non-existent. I'm not even sure if I'm renouncing all boys...! I'm not sure what's happening, to be honest. The most I've fancied anyone this term was this random guy who was nice to me, but after we kissed he stopped talking to me. Now, I may not be the smartest cookie in the cookie jar, but I know that if a guy isn't making an effort with you then he's just not that into you. I know this from reading the Girl Bible (if you haven't read it, then do it!), so I am now sassy when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. 

So, due to my not wanting to think about Mr Melon as well as my lack of a love life, I haven't written in a long time. Hey, I think that these are pretty valid reasons, now that I think about it. I didn't go with the typical "I was busy" excuse (which is a sh-excuse, because if Noah can write to Ally every day for 365 days then nobody can ever be too busy to do something that's important!)

But now I'm going to briefly sum up how I cocked things up with Mr Melon.

So, we had a very intense relationship - it was very The Notebook meets The Fault in Our Stars. Only, it slowly became pretty one-sided on the intense front. He matured a lot at uni (and actually became a #LadLadLad) whereas I was still acting like Taylor Swift at the end of Blank Space when I hadn't heard from him in a while. 

And most people could tell you that I'm an overthinker. Now, normally that's a good thing - I have carefully thought through what Beatles songs I want to sing at my wedding, what I would do if I won the lottery, and whether it would be quirky or cruel to give my kids really hipster names (I've decided to go for it). But overthinking is a pain in the nipple when you're in a relationship. I was blissfully happy when I was with Mr Melon and watching films or chatting or gallivanting around the city and being all cute and PDA-y (Disclaimer: we were that couple that held hands, skipped, and sang songs together). But when he wasn't physically there (which was a lot of the time, because we were doing long distance) my brain, Bernard (yes, I've named him) started being a difficult dick and overthinking everything. Was I happy? Did he really love me? Was I making him happy? Would he always stand by me? And, again, was I happy??? 

And I've realised that my relationship with Mr Melon was great in so many ways, but it's OK that it's over. I don't think I'm mature enough for a relationship yet...!!! They're just so serious, and I put so much pressure on them to fill me up with happiness! Whereas, now that I'm back to being the Mayoress of Singleton, I can go back to making life a barrel of banter. 

My New Years' Resolution is to just take things less seriously, and (oh, God, I'm such a cringe) to find myself. I sound like I'm about to go on a Gap Yah to Indonesia. But I'm serious - I'm now 20, so it's time I start taking care of myself!

Your twenties are there to learn from the mistakes you made as a teen, to move on, to try and be the best version of yourself you can be, and to have a LOT of fun! So, that's the aim for this decade :')

Keep you posted on how that goes,
Grammar Gal 

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