So I always assumed that I was an Audrey Hepburn type. I mean, this idea has been aided by the fact I went to an all-girls' Convent, where we learned (kinda) how to be ladies. Or we learned the next best thing - how to be sassy. And Latin - we had to learn Latin...
And yet...
The thing is, I'm about as classy as Simon Cowell is compassionate - the two just don't go hand in hand. I think that I only fully realised this t'other day. I was going out with some of my old Year 12 guy friends, and my best friend Yazz. Curly Haired Guy was also there - and he has not changed a bit!! He's still a cocky bum who is very charming and can be slimey when he's drunk!!
But in all seriousness, CHG is lovely - and he's such a hoot to be around! We were having a laugh at the start of the night, and I was being my usual Queen of Sass self...and then I hit the Vodka Wall. I was beyond drunk. The line of drunkness was a dot to me. Not only was I not allowed into the club we were going to, but I threw up on the pavement outside it. In from of CHG. Cringe-worthy or what?!
And he was being so bloody nice - and he stayed outside and chatted with me for like an hour. And he let me rest my head on his shoulder. I was still with Mr Melon at the time and of course I dont think of CHG in that way but I have to admit that it was nice being taken care of. Maybe Freud was onto something when he said that we all secretly fancy our parents - because I seriously dig the protective vibe thing.
But anyways. Back to my point. I spent the whole night throwing up in the club's toilets (after they eventually let me in...A bad judgement call on their part) and being a genuine embarrassment. WHY DO I HAVE NO CLASS?!?!
Funily enough, I haven't really heard from CHG since that evening...
Oh well, I guess my guy friends were under the false impression that uni would have changed me and made me more "mature" and "able to handle my drink". But, alas. A leopard never changes its spots!
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal
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