There comes a time in every relationship when a guy starts to withdraw a wee bit. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus will tell you that this is because men are elastic bands who need to stretch out and feel independent before they can spring back to you. I’ve already called bullshit on that theory. But, regardless of why the boy draws away, it inevitably happens. As a girl, you find yourself at the Clingy Crossroads, faced with two paths ahead of you.
A. You cling on for dear life. Your phone becomes your new source of Oxygen. Wake up? Check it. Go for a bath? Take it with you. On the toilet? Check he hasn’t read your Whatsapp yet. Not only do you obsessively pray he will reply to your messages, you actually send him more than is normal. It starts with one ‘Good Morning Text’ (because he no longer sends those any more) and then you decide to tell him about what you’re doing with your day. And then you read an article that you obviously need to tell him about. And then there’s a new sandwich you just tried that tastes exactly like the one he had the other day from Pret… And soon you’ve sent 20 messages. Each has been seen and not responded to. And how do you feel? Like a clingy koala bear who’s unworthy of love.
B. You distance yourself. He’s trying to be an elastic band? Well, let’s see who can stretch the furthest. My mamma has always said that if you treat ‘em mean then you keep ‘em keen. Pros of this tactic are that you feel fantabulous about yourself – why reply to him when you can instead spend the day focusing on you. Maybe today is the perfect day to start doing Pilates (or maybe not…). Yet by distancing yourself, you create…well, distance. And that’s not healthy – soon the conversation trickles down and neither side is willing to start a conversation. Take it from the professional – this is the path I took that made my relationship with Humbug go from Pretty Bad to Completely Tits Up.
As we can see, both paths are recipes for disasters. I wish there was a way that we could stay sassy and independent, but also be cherished so we don’t feel clingy.
But guys have lives too! Hmmmm… I’m not really sure what advice to give now! I guess, we should just try our best to stay independent but also loving.
Well that’s what I think anyway. Keep you posted how that turns out…