Thursday, 26 December 2013

'YOLO Swaggins'

Ah, Christmas is over. We've all sung The Fairytale of New York so many times that we know the girl's lyrics off by heart, and the Hugh Grant love actually routine has naturally been performed.
It's the festive season that makes all girls who are loved up feel happy to be with their boyfriends. Walks in the park, kisses under mistletoe, holding hands in the snow.... Oh, it's a beautiful image. And every year I've glared jealously at the petite blondes and their Hollister boyfriends and even the weirdo boys with their relatively cool gals. Wintertime is like being on Noah's Ark: everyone walks by two-by-two. Festivities, in brief, are a time to make single gals feel bitter and make eating countless pigs-in-blankets seem essential.
This year, however, I have a boyfriend! No, you didn't mis-read that: I have a boyfriend.
Yes, me! The girl who cannot talk to a member of the opposite sex without making an inappropriate joke/pun, whose idea of flirting is asking what the time is and whose idea of a diet is a pot noodle (because they have vegetables in them). I somehow got myself a boyfriend.
Humbug. As I said before, we were dating. I wasn't really sure where we were going and he is so bloody laid back that I didn't even know if he liked me. But, alas. For the first time since I was 12 a boy asked me to be his girlfriend and I felt like a princess.
True, he didn't bring me flowers, and it wasn't raining, and there were no violins in the background. In fact, we were just watching lord of the rings and he popped the question (yes, we are treating it as a marriage proposal because in teen terms they are the same thing).

And this leads to the big question: is Humbug too laid back?
Let's take a trip down memory lane of the guys I have fancied:
1. Knight the Knobhead. He was a mixture of intense and laid-back. He was a bad boy with a good heart (until he became a massively selfish twatface and ignored my countless texts and got himself a girlfriend)
2. Curly Haired Guy. He was super-intense and, yes, I found that scary and hot in equal measure.
3. Funny Guy. He wasn't intense - he was laid back but we texted all day every day so I suppose you could perceive that as intense.

Anyways, with all 3 of these ghosts from the past, we have always been super-intimate. We would chat all the time and he would know everything about me. The only problem is that I told all of them that I wanted to stay 'casual' and they took that the mean that they could bugger off and get bimbo girlfriends.
With humbug, he's not my best friend. And we don't talk all the time - he's got a busy life and I just have to accept that. And maybe that's a good thing that we don't talk ALL the time - maybe that's too much! Maybe, by being a clingy koala bear, I chased the knobheads away.

Having said this, I sometimes think that humbug takes me for granted. He doesn't ask me out a lot (it's usually me who asks him), he flirts with other girls (sometimes in front of me!) and he keeps drunk texting me things like 'yolo swaggins'. No, you did not misread that.

I know I know, I need to cut him some slack - he's fantabulous at other things. Even though we have opposite personalities and opinions and preferences, we are kinda compatible. I don't know how to describe it... We just kinda fit together like jigsaw pieces. And he's always super-sweet: he gave me a beautiful and expensive necklace for Christmas and he constantly tells me I'm pretty.
I just wish he told me he liked me more :')
I'm fairly sure in asking for too much but, hey, what is grammar gal without her high maintenance tendencies?!

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