Sunday, 24 March 2013

Things Not to Say on a First Date

Hola amigos,
Recently I've been thinking about first dates (because, hopefully, Curly Haired Guy should be taking me out on one soon, like he promised).
This date determines what he thinks of you, your opinion of him, whether you want to see him again or whether you would rather lick David Cameron's foot.
Using my experience of the (2) first dates I have been on, as well as the gazillion films I have watched as..."research", I have come up with a List of Things that Us Gals Should Not Say on a First Date:

1. "Brrrrrr I'm cold": This will just bug you if he doesn't offer you his jacket (which he won't if you are on a date with any of the unromantic lads who live in England). Yes, in the movies he will oblige. In real life when I tried this he just said I should have worn more clothing. Not romantic. At all.
2. "I can't believe you asked me out" - if you say things like this then he will start wondering 'yeah, why did I ask you out'. It's all about psychological shit. If you have a bucket load of confidence then he will think he's the luckiest guy in the world. Or, if he was out on a date with me, the country. Or maybe just the town. Fuck it, he'll be the luckiest guy down his road.
3. This isn't so much a what not to say point, but generally speaking you shouldn't hide who you are. For me, for instance, I am completely wacky and myself with Curly Haired Guy because my attitude is that if he doesn't like me for me, then fuck 'im!
4. "Your laugh is really camp" - trust me, he won't find it funny...
5. "Your top is really camp" - again, don't get nervous and royally cock-up the situation as I do. Regularly.
6. "Call me soon" - don't tell him what to do, or he'll think you're too into him, and might then lose interest (it's a sad world we live in, girls).
7. "My friends were so wrong about you" - don't let him know that you've talked about him behind his back. Guys try to be "macho" and "tough" but deep down they hate being talked about behind their backs. Unlike misogynistic John Gray who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, I think guys and girls are pretty alike.
8. "Should I pay or...?" - like with the jacket/'I'm cold' thing don't expect too much. Offer to pay so that he can see you're independent. Guys get pissed off if you expect them to pay for you when you're living in the 21st Century!

Think that just about sums it up. Now remember gals, don't cock things up!
I undoubtedly shall when CHG eventually does take me out.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

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