Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Summer of Sun, Fun and Snogging

I'm back!
And boy oh boy do I have news.
At the start of the cruise I was having an OK time but I felt I was missing out on something - I kept seeing people my age hanging out together and wondered why I wasn't hanging out with peeps my own age. This all change when I met Kailey and Katie, two sweet and stunning Canadians at our dinner table. They took me to the club for 15-17 yr olds and that's where I met Flo who is already one of my best friends and I'm going to stay in touch with her for as long as possible.
They took me out almost every night (usually getting me completely off my face drunk) and I had so much fun that it's ridiculous!
I was originally dubious about the dancing. In my free time I listen to MC Hammer on full blast and do Crazy Dancing which is unattractive to the eye but so much fun. These girls did Proper Dancing - as in, they did all the sexy hair flicks and swaying stuff that I've seen in movies but never known possible. It took a lot of alcohol to make me dance like that.
Alcohol was available through loads of different people and one of the most memorable nights was the Whiskey Night where I tried to chug some whiskey and it missed my mouth and proceeded to go into my eye and up my nose. I looked about as attractive as the Loch Ness Monster on a bad hair day.
Then there was The Drunk Night which was where I had glasses (as opposed to shots) of Vodka and then some gin. It was then that I "made out" with Dan. Dan was a cute British 18-year-old guy who I'd talked to before about Britain and school and stuff but it seems that whenever I talked to him one of us (or both of us) was ridiculousy drunk. Well on The Drunk Night he could barely walk and I was so light that I thought I could fly and run like Edward Cullen (I'll explain in a minute). We both went on the balcony to get some "fresh air" and suddenly I was on his lap and my lips were keeping his company. It was surprisingly nice and we talked for a little bit but talking is rather tricky when you're that far gone..!
That's when I went Edward Cullen running - I ran so fast! I was immensely shocked with my running capabilities - Mr. Bolt step aside! Well I ran so fast that my legs turned to jelly and I "needed" a piggyback from Dreamy Dan (who was staggering around with me on his back, what with him being so drunk).
It was like a modern-day fairytale.
The next day we both got drunk again but we didn't see each other until around 1 when I was going home and then he ran up to me and lifted me up (he's a lot taller than me so he lifted me to kiss him) and I - cringe- wrapped my legs around him and kissed him. Then he walked me to my door and we drunkenly kissed again.
I was feeling pretty high on love, but I knew we should actually talk more before snogging again - I'm not one of those girls.
The next night I saw Dan and said 'Hey Dan' in a happy voice but only received a monotonous and low-pitched 'Hi'. Realising he was ignoring me (and taking the hint from the girl's legs that were stretched out over him) I went and got my friend Patricia who advised me to walk by him with a group of guys and gals and make him jealous, which is what I did (but I'm not sure if it worked..!).
Later that evening we were up on the Lido Deck and I saw Dan with a girl so Flo and I went to see where they were. They were snogging - quel surpris, I always pick the tossers.
After that Dreamy Dan became Douchebag Dan.
Douchebag Dan punched my heart (but don't worry, it's not been broken yet..!) and he deserved to pay.
The next day I wore a revealing bikini and marched right up to him after spying on his having been with 3 different girls in the hot tub and having his friend Adam remark this as being "normal" because he "snogged a lot of girls".
I walked up to him and punched his arm in a "playful" way:
Me: *punch* Hi, Dan *smiling*
*Awkward pause since he knows I saw him with the girl last night and knows I talked to Adam*
Dan: Hey... I can't believe it's our last day! After this I won't be getting another vacation for 5 years
Me: Oh, beause you're going to work on cruise ships, right?
Dan: Yeah.
Me: Well, you'll like that. My friend works on a cruise ship and he has a different girl at every port - I think you'll really like it
*slight pause*
*punches his arm again* Bye Dan *smiles and walks away leaving him looking a little confused*.

Later that night he said he thought I was going to slap him. We talked and I told him - with a little help from Mr Vodka - that I think he's a douchebag and that he should rot in hell and that I regret snogging him because he's no good and he snogs every girl he sees. I also told him I hope he ends up with a girl called Katilin (she was American and HATED England - she said she's rather live in a third world country..! He apparently fancied her and told her he hadn't got off with anyone - I told her this was a lie and she gave me a look that could kill..!) because she's a bitch so they'd be perfect together.
He then told me that he had only hooked up with me and the girl I'd seen him with the night before - all the girls during the day were just friends, and he told me that he used to get bullied about being gay since all his friends are girls; he finds them easier to talk to.
It was a tricky conversation - I wanted to believe him but part of me was still mad. Besides, he had still got with that other girl - was I his sloppy seconds?
He assured me I wasn't his sloppy seconds and said he really liked me because I'm intelligent and he only goes for intelligent girls. He then told me to go and find someone new and said it wouldn't be hard because I'm supposedly "hot".
In the end we hugged and he kissed my cheek and my forehead and then we went our separate ways.
It was only when I reached Flo and Adam that I realised I was a total pushover and Adam assured me that Dan was lying - that he hooked up with loads of girls.
When I saw Dan again I called him a tosser jokingly and said "Goodbye Douchebag Dan" to which he answered with an attempt of denial and then we both smiled at each other and walked away.

Drama drama drama!!!
Well now it seems I need a rebound for my Knight rebound...!
Oh, why is life so complex?!
Keep you posted and promise the next post won't be this long!
Grammar Gal xxx

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