Saturday, 25 August 2012

Boys On The Brain

OK, so it turns out that I'm a big fat liar.
Me without a boy to daydream about is like Catwoman without sex-appeal. It will never happen.
Now it seems that I've reached a metaphorical dead-end:
Knight = amounted to nothing.
Loverat = amounted to nothing.
Prince = amounted to nothing.
Must I go on?!

Sure, for the first 10 days it felt great after things went tits-up with the Loverat and I felt Zen and weirdly free from the hassle of being head over heels with someone out of my league/emotionally unavailable.
But now I cannot listen to Taylor Swift songs and feel uplifted or watch 10 Things I Hate About You and not be insanely jealous of Kat.
Gaaaa. I well and truly have boys on the brain.
But it's no good - I never 'fall' for the right guy. Or, if I do, then I manage to cock it up. Big time.
I have no regrets with the whole Knight thing now and I have truly moved on from him and all of the other loverats that I, at one stage, fancied (anyone remember Duke...and Afro ...and Giraffe..?!!) yet now I feel...slightly empty.
I mean, I miss doing my hair for a particular person and hurriedly chugging back Smints every time they come near, nervously talking about the weather and school and any other crap that pops into my mind whilst simultaneously trying not to sweat and thereby avoid Sweaty Betty Syndrome ... Oh, and don't get me started on my "flirting". I'm not sure if you can call it that when upon flicking my hair I got it caught on my lipgloss and had to de-tangle that. If you've ever got hair stuck to your lipgloss you'll understand that it's not an easy situation to get out of smoothly.
Or there's the time I bought a ridiculously large and expensive box of gum so I could offer it to Giraffe. He said no. I was baffled - it was, after all, such a flawless plan...

Well well well, new Plan Of Action - here is my plan to not get a man: I'm going to just be chillin like a villain and I'm not going to make an arse of myself in front of members of the opposite sex. That is my new and early New Years Resolution.
We'll see how long it lasts.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

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