Saturday, 26 May 2012

The Nunnery Agreement

I am renouncing all boys. I'm just so fed up of sounding like a 50s Housewife waiting for her husband. Boys in general are just starting to irritate me; the way they walk around with their hands in their pants and think they have "swag" makes me want to throw up.
As you can tell, Knight hasn't called.
Hence, from now on we shall follow The Nunnery Agreement which states the following:

1. No flirtatious behaviour with members of the opposite sex. This shall be easy because
A. I have never flirted in my life.
B. I have no objects to pratice flirtatiousness with - Afro is out of my league and the bangable neighbour neighbour.

2. No listening to Magic FM or fantasizing about certain Knobs (no euphemism intended) going to your house/sweeping you off your feet
A. Heart FM is an absolute MUST
B. Power-walking like an independent chick is the perfect way to assert that you do not need a guy in your life. But don't walk too fast or people will think you're just angry. Which you're not.

3. Do not reply to messages from Knobs.
A. This may be revoked if the text is something more substantial that "Sorry I cannot make it on [the date we arranged to meet]"

4. If a guy tries to flirt with you bitchslap him. Unless he's
A. Your friend. But then again...why would he be flirting with you..? Hmmm, I revoke this exception - bitchslap any men that attempt to flirt with you.

5. All of the above can be discarded if:
A. Your Knight redeems himself.
B. You have a summer romance (even nuns deserve those!)

Keep you posted when I fail, call Knight 20 times and put Magic FM on full blast (it's the best radio station don't lie to yourself),
Grammar Gal xx

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