Monday, 30 January 2012


I have successfully not eaten any meat today (unless you count fish fingers - which I do NOT because I'm not a pesca-thing..!)
I then went to a Dance Recital for my little (12 years old to be precise) cousin which, as promised, brought me some depression as to the meaning of life. I mean, you are sitting there for 2 hours watching really talented girls dance and you have to ponder on the mediocrity of one's life.
I mean, my exercise consists of running to the fridge...
So, whilst I was watching the performance I made a plan in my head. A ploy to get a boy.
I am going to take these three following steps in order to meet a nice, unsensible man who neither resembles Knight nor acts like the Knob himself:
1. Add some items to my wardrobe (and hopefully find my style - I still haven't a clue what clothes I like to wear...!) This translates to: Buy some ripped tights and a new baggy white top, customise with a jean jacket and attitude. Hot to trot: Check! But then, knowing me, I'll make an arse of myself one way or another (probably spilling an item of food all down myself and looking a state after nobody tells me)
2. Go out some more - let's call it Fishing. We need to fish for some boys in the murky pond which is Beckenham. Plan Of Action: As soon as possible, I am going to go boy-hunting. This shall consist of going to a variety of different places (from Bromley Market Square to Covent Garden to a train to Charing Cross) in my new uber-cool outfits which I shall buy on Thursday (late night shopping = bonus! Besides, I need to buy some vegetarian food from Iceland = yum!).
3. Stop babbling when talking to members of the opposite sex. Yes, I am aware that I seem likethe type of person to keep a cool head around a boy and not make a complete fool of myself by speaking too much and saying the wrong things (this is me being sarcastic by the way, in case you didn't catch on..!)
A perfect example of this foolish and downright idiotic behaviour is yesterday's conversation with Knight. Brace yourselves.
Me: How are you etc etc..
Him: Fine etc etc...
Him: BRB
Me: Okeydokie diddly pokie, kissed the boys and it was smokin [As in that is genuinely what I replied with. I was aiming for a non-chalant answer which made me seem playful. I came up with THAT! The mortification!!! No wonder he doesn't return my texts - I'm not NORMAL!! D: ]


So, to recap, the New Me shall consist of:
- Being more Zen and relaxed.
- Being a vegetarian for two weeks (technically starting today, but I have knowledge that my Ma is cooking sausages tomorrow, so I can't promise to be faithful until Wednesday!!)
- Exercising once in a while - perhaps a spontaneous jog..?
- Buying new accessories to attract a Fish (that's a metaphor. I'm not attracted to fish. *Digging myself a hole*)
- Go out more often (when possible after I have completed my tasks from the Convent)
- Make less of an arse of myself in front of boys/humans in general...

Speaking of the Convent, I keep forgetting to keep y'all informed on the Rat Pack. If you don't remember who these are, they're mentioned in a previous blog post (Cannot remember which, so I'll give you a brief recap).
They are the best looking guys in our school, and in one of them (in my opinion) is a particular babe. His name is A and he's just an actual babe. I've already said that... Well, truth is, we've never had a conversation that's lasted more than two minutes (unless you count the drunken singing when I was sitting on his lap at a friend's party, which I don't) but he seems like a right ol' gent.
I blame the Convent for this. If I were in a mixed school I could just get on with my life, go fishing on a regular basis and just sweep A out of my mind. But because he makes up, like, 5% of the male sixth formers, you can understand the allure!

Well, I'd best go but shall leave in true Grammar Gal style, with a quote [I'm not sad - piss off!]
"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I should say goodnight till it be morrow" or something like that. It's from Romeo and Juliet which does NOT make me lame.
Knight and I used to recite Romeo and Juliet just for laughs.

Grammar Gal xxx

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