Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Mission: Stop Moping

I'm not proud of myself. Today I slept until 12 and then watched 5 chick flicks in a row (including the likes of Legally Blonde, Drive Me Crazy and Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants) but it's no good. I still feel.... like those sausages in my fridge which are out of date but which I don't have the heart/effort to throw away. I feel like the tacky nailpolish that chips as soon as it's touched your fingernail. I feel like Charlotte Lucas after Collins proposes to Elizabeth. In a nutshell, I feel abandoned. I know, deep down, that Knight is totally wrong for me: he goes out, he drinks, he smokes (all kinds of exotic substances...) and his friends intimidate me (from what I've gathered via my Facebook stalking - I really do need to get out more...). But it's like in 500 Days Of Summer where he can't acknowledge the bad things and only remembers the good - I can only remember the good things and have oppressed the bad.

Until I opened up the tub of Ben and Jerry's. Hey - wallowing is good for the soul! So there I was, wallowing and watching a bit o' Dirty Dancing (a classic I must say) when I realised that Knight isn't perfect and that maybe there is a Johnny out there for me, but I just have to find him. So starting today is Mission: Stop Moping which is quite simple, since I must just:
A. Stop listening to Celine Dione and my Magic FM album (oh, the fact that I have Magic FM on album...)
B. Actually leave my house - tomorrow I'm thinking of having a little retail therapy with my limited/non-existent amount of money. Not the smartest plan perhaps but I need to get out of the house - I just keep thinking of all of the things he must be doing with his new too-pretty-too-rich-boobs-bigger-than-mine-I-don't-like-her girlfriend. Eurgh.
C. Stop wearing Mopey Clothes - although, actually, today was a Dress Like A 'Slut' Day so I've been quite content baring my midriff for all of my furniture to see.
D. Stop stalking Knight's Facebook profile. And stop stalking his girlfriend and yelling 'bitch'. She may be a lovely person. Or she may be a bitch...

Think that covers everything! Oh yeah, and I need to stop consuming my weight in chocolate - last night I had a dream that my prom dress couldn't fit because Willy Wonka made me eat all of the Wonka chocolate bars, so I swelled like Augustus Gloop and my dress ripped. I'm really just a kid at heart, aren't I?!

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

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