OMFG

OK, Brace yourselves. I have very important news to divulge.
At present I am hiding away in my onesie and not sure what to do. I am wearing a monkey onesie (like cool kids do) and I suddenly got a message from that boy whose lap I sat on once at a party, asking me if I'm wearing a onesie. I look outside my winder and - guess what - he fricking LIVES DOWN MY ROAD. Do I leave and get changed? Do I close my curtains?
DO I MOVE TO ANTARTICA?!?!

Jesus Christ! I blame cold suburbia for this - if I'd only known him then I would have never sat on his lap like the freak that I am.

Oh my actual God, he must have seen me in my frilly nighties etc that I wear at leisure and what if---

Oh wait, he's just told me that he doesn't live down my road, but he just co-incidentally enquired after my onesie whilst I'm wearing it.
Panic over.
Phew...

xxxx