Sex & The City

As predicted, I am now in a elated mood, having taken the night off and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning watching both F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and Sex & The City and I now feel happy and lalalalalalala again :)
Fuck Knight (not literally ofc since that would ruin my whole anger-vibe) I'll just be Carrie Bradshaw and wait for Mr Big.
Oh, I do love Sex and The City - I genuinely want to be Carrie: she's this amazingly independent writer who is gorgeous and can afford loads of designer clothes and has a beautiful brownstone appartment in New York.
Sigh. One day, one day...
It's all good:)
Sorry to disappoint you but I'm afraid that I've mentally ripped up the Nunnery Agreement and starting this summer fishing shall commence. If it doesn't and I'm still a teenage spinster then I honestly do not mind in the slightest. After all, Bridget Jones is a spinster for the majority of the film and she's awesome - see? There's hope :')
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Beaver re-union: brilliant

Cannot believe how long it took for my computer to load. Has not improved my mood. Other than realising that this summer will not be as amazing as I had anticipated because my Knight is going to be in Reading with his ex and shall probably not attempt to contact me because he's a Knob, I have also had the bombshell dropped on me that I'm going to the street party. I reeaaallllly want to go - I actually cannot wait; finally it shall no longer be cold in suburbia and we may even come face-to-face with the bangable neighbour. So, why is it a bombshell? Of course I had forgotten that Beaver lives down my road and of course he will bring his girlfriend (the blonde curvy one that we envy and therefore despise) so it will be beyond awkward. God, to think that I used to fancy that boy (*cringes*). Sigh.
Note to self: NEVER become romantically involved with anyone that lives down your street.

Oh and I resemble a drowned rat right now - it's just pissed down with rain for no apparent reason other than to make my already not-so-great-day (I had a Physics GCSE. Enough said.) even worse.

Rant over - I promise! Shall be mellow as a marshmallow next time :)
Grammar Gal

The Nunnery Agreement is working better than expected. But this isn't just because I've renounced all men and deemed them scum; it's not completely by choice that I'm a teenage spinster.
Today I was at the station and I came to the depressing realisation that summer is the season of love. I saw all types of couples: old couples, teenage/awkward couples, cute couples, passionate couples and, of course, Pretty Couples. It was a depressing sight. Even more depressing is the fact that I am only capable of attracting flies. And that is most certainly not by choice since I have a mini-heart-attack whenever I see one zooming towards me.

Sigh. So maybe I'm not a nun by choice - it's just how things are going to be! Until...three/four weeks' time where, if Knight still hasn't called (he literally has no excuse now his exams are over the Bastard) I will go Fishing (metaphorically of course - I would rather eat my bra than go near a sack full of maggots..)

Keep you posted.
Grammar Gal

The Nunnery Agreement

I am renouncing all boys. I'm just so fed up of sounding like a 50s Housewife waiting for her husband. Boys in general are just starting to irritate me; the way they walk around with their hands in their pants and think they have "swag" makes me want to throw up.
As you can tell, Knight hasn't called.
Sigh.
Hence, from now on we shall follow The Nunnery Agreement which states the following:

1. No flirtatious behaviour with members of the opposite sex. This shall be easy because
A. I have never flirted in my life.
B. I have no objects to pratice flirtatiousness with - Afro is out of my league and the bangable neighbour is...my neighbour.

2. No listening to Magic FM or fantasizing about certain Knobs (no euphemism intended) going to your house/sweeping you off your feet
A. Heart FM is an absolute MUST
B. Power-walking like an independent chick is the perfect way to assert that you do not need a guy in your life. But don't walk too fast or people will think you're just angry. Which you're not.

3. Do not reply to messages from Knobs.
A. This may be revoked if the text is something more substantial that "Sorry I cannot make it on [the date we arranged to meet]"

4. If a guy tries to flirt with you bitchslap him. Unless he's
A. Your friend. But then again...why would he be flirting with you..? Hmmm, I revoke this exception - bitchslap any men that attempt to flirt with you.

5. All of the above can be discarded if:
A. Your Knight redeems himself.
B. You have a summer romance (even nuns deserve those!)

Keep you posted when I fail, call Knight 20 times and put Magic FM on full blast (it's the best radio station don't lie to yourself),
Grammar Gal xx

Eventful day...

Today has been rather eventful because I
A. Cooked chips for the very first time and managed not to burn my hand (but it was an utterly terrifying experience).
B. Had another traumatic experience when a big ugly fat fly flew at my desk at Top Gear Speeds and killed itself (idiot) - it was pretty scary and also quite sad. Even though it was just a fly.
C. I may have unintentionally flashed my postman since I've been wearing this stupid tanktop all day and it's only been in its rightful spot around my neck for around 25% of the day. Oh dear..
D. A fly went down my top. Enough said.

All in all an eventful day. Have I done much work? No.
Best get cracking,
xxx

The Undomestic Goddess

If it's true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and his love of food then I am officially going to die a spinster.
Today I took on The Ultimate Challenge - making Fish 'n' Chips.Alone, In the house. Unsupervised.
Needless to say it looks like shit. BUT it doesn't make me want to throw up! Yay - progress!?

I'm afraid this must be brief because I am simultaneously trying to eat my wretched meal, study and not kill my Posh Totty neighbours who are talking SO LOUDLY that I'm debating whether or not to hammer their wall down..

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Pride & Prejudice has evoked some thoughts..

I'm not a normal teenager.
After completing my English Lit GCSE today (including a study of Romeo and Juliet and Pride and Prejudice amongst other forms of torture) any normal teenager would move on with their lives, mellow out to some music and maybe watch a chick flick. What do I do? I watch Pride and Prejudice.
It's an amazing film which always makes me tear up at the end (you know the bit where she's telling her Dad - it's just so emotional).

I wish that my life was like Pride & Prejudice (other than the fact that women were second-class citizens and life was generally shit for anyone if you weren't a rich guy) because I love Elizabeth (or, maybe,  I just love Keira Knightley..) and her independence. But the film has provoked some depressing thoughts and reminded me of the Biggest Anti-Climax Of The Century which was when Knight and I FINALLY told each other that we lurve each other and stuff. And then...
The end.

Where was my meadow scene?! (if you don't understand the reference then go and watch that film before I bitchslap you)
Eurgh. I miss being gleeful in love like dear old Jane, and instead just feel shunned like poor Mary or Charlotte..
My Mr Darcy needs to get his priorities sorted out.
His exams end tomorrow so hopefully he'll initiate conversation then..? But I will NOT reply to the standard "Hey" and not receive a reply (AGAIN).

Huff... Elizabeth never had to put up with this shit.