New Start Inspired by Durham

This weekend I visited my sister. The trip was great: we got to catch up and I've missed her immensely so that was fun.
But in the evening we went out to a club and it seems that I thought I could handle half a bottle of Vodka.
I really couldn't.
I got so drunk at the pre-drinks that when people talked to me, I could only catch glimpses of what they were saying, and I kept repeating myself (my top phrases were: "Oh my God you're Irish!", "your shoes do match your shirt", "I like a guy with chest hair"). And when I got to the club itself I realised/imagined that the boy I had been talking to at predrinks, the Shy Guy, looked like Knight. With this realisation I tried to stay away from him, for fear of a repeat of the Loverat situation (a.k.a. getting off with a randomer).
Obviously this plan failed.
We ended up dancing and then snogging but...
I can't think of a way to phrase this in the nicest way possible.
When I first kissed the Shy Guy it felt like there was a washing machine in my mouth.
Not good.
But, nonetheless, I spent most of my night doing this activity and dancing (which, incidentally, constituted of a lot of bum-grabbing). The Shy Guy was starting to bore me after we had been dancing like this for a good hour so I initiated that we go upstairs and sit down.
Little did I know that this sitting down would also lead to us kissing some more.
I suddenly realised that I didn't know this boy. And then I started to freak out. I had, yet again, got off with a stranger whose surname I did not know.
And then I started to panic that I couldn't find my sister and I was so drunk that everybody looked the same.
Eventually I found one of her Roomies and they led me to my sister, who was worried sick about me. We left shortly after, but not before a boy whose name was the same as Knight's hit on me. The reminder of Knight was a little bit too much to take.
When we got back to my sister's house I had to go to her room and have a little cry because
A. I was too drunk to function
B. I realised I had never kissed a boy who had genuinely cared about me or who wasn't out-of-his-mind drunk.

This has led me to my New Start. True, my first couple of kisses weren't great - they weren't memorable and they weren't meaningful. But as of now I vow not to snog a boy unless we have been on a date and if I truly like him. And I cannot be under the influence of alcohol.
That's my plan to get a proper man.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Fairy Godmother: Top Wingwoman

Today I was a little worried.
For starters, it has become apparent to me that my talking to boys always ends in me saying something awkward/talking too much and then a large awkward silence.
Today, for instance, I unintentionally told Z about how my teacher told me I need to get a life yesterday at parents' evening...!
He did laugh, but obviously at me not with me..!
So then I fretted about Gent - after all we're going to a party on Wednesday. But I don't even remotely like the Gent anymore (sorry, but he reminds me of a square). There is a nice boy at school, let's call him Tree, and he seems nice but I don't fancy him or anything don't worry! Well, I started worrying that I'd talk to Tree & Gent and be myself (a.k.a. weird) --> the night would end in disaster.
Instead, my Fairy Godmother (FG for short) has stepped in and has agreed to be my wingwoman, in exchange for me being hers. PLAN!
NB. This is a girl who acts like a fairy godmother. I don't believe in fairies.
Just thought I'd clarify.

Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

Grammar Gal in Shock

The Serial Dater plan in undoubtedly a good one, and one I shall probably refer back to later.
But right now I have bigger things on my mind.
I've been invited to a Halloween Party where Gent and co. (the New Rat Pack) will be there.

I'll bet you anything that I cock it up.
Anyways, I've decided to go as a devil (I'm sure loads of others will go as a devil - it's not exactly a unique idea...!!) and I have my dress and horns all ready.
Gaa I cannot wait :')
So, just to recap, this Top Nerd has:
1. A visit to Durham over the weekend to look forward to
2. A Haloween Party
3. A gathering with my friends.

Whoop whoop! I love having things to do - especially after Knob and his girlfriend put up that devastatingly cute picture on Facebook yesterday...
Keep you posted,
xxx

Serial Dater

Ignore my previous post.
I am no longer feeling glum because I have a Plan.
Oh yes. Brace yourself.

My Plan Of Action is to become a Serial Dater. I am going to meet up with all of the boys who I have met/liked in the last month (Prince' ball lads, boys from the bus, old friend I bumped into yesterday perhaps and maybe even the Cutie) and I'm going to see what the date feels like.
I feel like I need t get out there.
Oh, there is a reason for this new attitude: The Tosser/Shithead Knob has a picture of him and his girlfriend looking all cute on Facebook.
JUST WHEN HE WAS OUT OF THE PICTURE
Fucking hate him.
So off I go onto the market.
There are no flaws to this plan because if one rejects me then I move onto another one.
Hell to the yeah!
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

P.S. the list of potentials:
- Z
- 3 boys from Prince's
- 2 boys from bus
- Boy friend I saw yesterday
- Adam
- Cutie

A leopard never changes its spots...

...but it does change its knickers. Today I learnt the life lesson that whilst thongs look like an inhumane device used to torture people in Ancient Egypt, they are actually ridiculously comfortable :O
Moving swiftly on...
A week or so ago I promised you that I would refrain from finding anybody attractive until I found The Guy who made me feel all fuzzy. This plan lasted a good...3 days.
Then I met the Gent, the Cutie and some other people. So I've realised that fancying lots of people at once is way more fun and beneficial that being hung up on one person (does everyone remember Knight?!)
The Gent that I mentioned in the last blog post is history. Once again I'm too intimidated by The It Crowd (that's my school's new Rat Pack) that he belongs to and all of the leggy blondes who are after him.
I'm a quitter. When I can't do something I generally give up.
However, I am going to see my sister in lovely Durham soon, so that will give me something to look forward to.
As for the boy thing, all of the cool guys are going to parties with girls I've never talked to. Pretty soon they'll be snatched up - heyho that's life :)
And so I have decided to just give up on all boys in my school.
But I am certainly not ruling out boys altogether.

Sigh.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal

Shopping Spree

Today I went shopping "for a new bag" which, as most girls can verify, also needs a hat to go with it (and, preferably, gloves too!). Then I bought a G-string (voluntarily :O) but it is stuffed in my drawer and shall never see the light of day - it looks ridiculously uncomfortable.
So what was the reason for this shopping spree?
In truth, I don't really know. But it could be because
A. Adam from the cruise cancelled our Tiger Tiger Haloween Date where we were going to go there and I was going to dress up as a devil and it was going to be amazing.
B. I have a teeny weeny crush on a boy who is so far out of my league that he makes Z look like Homer Simpson.
C. I now have no plans for Haloween - which is my favourite holiday!
D. I have so much work to do that it depresses me, yet I cannot be asked to do it.

Think that sums it up...
Today I had 2 free periods but I spent one of them sleeping and the other talking with Bazz about the boy I have the teeniest tiniest crush on. We have decided to call him Gent because he apparently has a "classic" look about him, though I didn't really think he was that great looking until today.
E-v-e-r-y female in the history of the world is after Gent, which is why I know that if I attempted to go after it, I would be unsuccessful and I would cock it up...!
Today, for instance, I unintentionally told him I didn't like his tie.
Why would I do that?!
It was a perfectly nice tie.
Oh I am such a Numpty.

Then at the bus stop I saw The Cutie and we were alone and I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. It was my Golden Opportunity and I wasted it...
Then I saw Afro at the bus stop and talked to him and it wasn't awkward at all - oh, if only my year 11 self could see me now :')
Then I saw a boy I used to talk to on my bus and we talked for a while which was nice.
So, all in all, a good day (minus the thong that I'm scared of)
xxx

Tits Pervert with a Twist

Ordinarily if a boy stares at your boobs then you assume he's a Tits Pervert - a.k.a. a regular guy.
With this principle in mind, when a boy I met today kept eyeing me up down there I couldn't help musing how
A. I should have worn a better bra that would give the illusion of larger breasts
B. The situation was a bit like Disney (and I don't mean to say that I watched a pervy Disney. I'll explain later)
C. I am incapable of flirting. As previously established somewhere on the blog, my idea of flirting is to talk too much about something completely random (namely Emmerdale, the colour of the sky or any other random stuff that comes to mind).

OK, back to the whole Disney Parallel: in Disney films, it is OK to talk to strangers if he's hot (i.e. in Sleeping Beauty or Snow White) and in this situation it's OK for a guy to stare freely at your breasts if he's hot. It doesn't feel as pervy.
And that's why boys like that are Tits Perverts with a Twist - you don't even realise they're pervy because they're so huminahuminahumina-aah.

***

Today I also talked to Awesome for the first time in a while which was nice... What else... Oh, yes, I spoke to one of my close friends for a long time. Oh, but she doesn't have a nickname on here!!
OK, from now on she shall be... The Confidante because we are completely honest with each other. Or I may just refer to her as C since it's shorter! :')

Right, well I have an English essay due in tomorrow and I have written...the title.
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal